Agatha and Tubbie

The two friends had been training for months.  As far as names go, their names fit their personalities.  Agatha was very traditional and old fashioned.  Tubbie was, by all accounts and by the opinion of all who knew her, tubby, corpulent, large, big-boned, full-figured, etc., ad nauseam.

So as it currently stood, the two friends had committed to exercising, sometimes together, sometimes apart, but always faithfully and according to schedule.  So when Agatha stopped by Tubbie's house, late that Tuesday afternoon, to find Tubbie eating ice cream directly from the one-gallon container, she was slightly concerned and irritated.

"Tubbie!" she exclaimed, probably too loudly. Tubbie looked upon her with an expression of genuine surprise.  "For what possible reason are you bellowing at me?"  Tubbie blurted out, a small dribble of ice cream escaping from the corner of her mouth.  Agatha paused and tried to comprehend Tubbie's response.  Her mouth opened two or three times but failed to produce any sound.  "You are eating a gallon of ice cream, still wearing your pajamas, while I have just returned from a three-mile-run. I thought we had an agreement?"  "Oh, but we do have an agreement," Tubbie responded, still slightly confused.  "I have not once deviated from that agreement, in the least."  With that she shoveled another large bite of Rocky Road into her mouth, her large eyes looking upon her dear friend, somewhat pleadingly.

"But...but...you, by all normal definitions of the word, are deviating as we speak.  Grossly so, in fact."  Agatha looked upon Tubbie and as she did, she could almost see the light bulb turn on over her head.

"Oh, I understand now."  Tubbie responded through nuts and chocolate.  "See, here is the thing.  I've been reading Derrida lately and I've come to understand that words are what we make them.  It seems that your definition of diet and exercise is radically different than mine.  Not truer or falser, just different.  I'm sorry for the confusion, but I hope you'll understand.  You are a dear friend after all."  Tubbie continued to look upon Agatha, a look of genuine love in her eyes.  Agatha, on the other hand, again tried to speak, but failed again.

She simply gave Tubbie a hug, her hands not quite reaching all the way around and turned, walking away slowly down the sidewalk.