NFL

Martin and John loved football.  So much so, it seemed, that you could say they considered themselves the sport's biggest fans.  Sure they had some differences in opinion on some of the finer points of the game, but all in all, they loved football.

But then one day, it happened.  Martin and John were re-watching the 1976 Super Bowl and enjoying a snack of jalapeño cheese dip and Lil' Smokies, when a thought popped into Martin's head.   "John," he said, with a slight smear of cheese on the left side of his lower lip, "I've been thinking."  John looked at Martin and nodded, saying nothing, but giving his full attention.  "I've been thinking that the entire NFL has really lost sight of what the game is really about.  I mean, really, look back to the  beginning of the game, 1920, Ohio, I mean really, it wasn't even called "the NFL" back then.  But they have changed everything so much.  They've added so much.  I think we should start talking to people and see if we can turn things around and get it back to it used to be."

John looked and Martin, paused and then told him that he whole heartedly agreed.  It was settled, Martin and John were going to reform the NFL.  After all Martin had actually been employed by the league at one time. Sure it was many years back and his role was simply that of a janitor, but, in his mind, he was "one of the guys."

The following year was a strenuous one.  The two men spent countless hours writing, calling, lecturing and countless conversations on those things they recognized as erroneous within the NFL and how they could go about fixing them.  The response was both good and bad.  The was a fairly sizable contingent that fully agreed with them, but didn't have the tenacity to give much support.  And needless to say, the NFL authorities were less than enthused over these new efforts.

After countless phone calls, letters and emails, Martin and John got their chance.  The President, Vice President and board of trustees for the NFL agreed to meet with them.  They both were flown out to Germantown, OH, the state where it all began.  But Martin and John were in for a surprise.  As they entered the stadium, they found all of their letters, emails and recordings of their lectures on a table in front of them.  The president of the league looked at them and asked one question, "Is this your material?" Martin had to confess that it was.  A very large man with no neck and a bottle of lighter fluid then lit the entire table on fire and left the stadium.

It was one week later that Martin ran an advertisement in the local newspaper.  "Wanted, powerful athletes for the Original National Football League, call 1-800-555-1234, ask for Martin."