Wednesday, March 6, 2024

They Who Wished to Be Gods

 

            This was the seventh time this year that Louis received an intense beating from the same four guys at school, he was little, he was kind, and extremely intelligent but being one to always follow the rules and follow his routine, his refusing to do others schoolwork didn't sit well with the school bullies who clearly and pointedly shared their feelings with him in the shape of fists.

              He managed to board the bus for the short ride home, still seeing double through the one eye that was not swollen shut and sat directly behind the driver, trying to control his breathing and not bleed on anything. "Again Louis? Really?" the driver said, "I think I've lost count of how many times we've had this conversation. I wish you would tell me who it is that is doing this to you, you really don't deserve it. We can make this stop, I promise."

              Louis remained silent trying to clear up his vision, focusing on his shoelaces but failing to see anything straight, he counted the stops as they traveled, to rise from his seat at the sixth stop, to wobble off the bus to the sidewalk. Leaning his hands on his knees, he waited until the bus pulled away before walking across his front yard to his front door, pausing again, hoping that his mother would not see or hear him enter. But the gasp from her as he pushed open the front door told him all that he needed to know, still unwilling to reveal the identity of his abusers, he collapsed on the couch and laid down to be woken after what seemed mere moments by his mother for dinner.

              He limited himself to mashed potatoes, for the beating he had received rendered most movement agonizing including that of chewing, even swallowing made him cough, which racked more pain through his body with its jarring movement. Even though it was only six thirty, he excused himself from his parent's presence and laid in a hot bathtub, relishing the relaxing heat and silence. With slow deliberate movement, he eased himself from the water after it had cooled to an uncomfortable level, dried off, and gingerly slipped on his pajamas.

              Exhausted and aching, so he sat on top of the closed toilet seat and made a mental note of each part of his body that hurt, which to his disappointment was just about everything with the exception of possibly his ears. His mother let herself into the bathroom to hold an ice pack on his one swollen eye and he slowly lost feeling, thankful for swelling that would soon reduce, allowing him to see again. "I'm calling in sick for you tomorrow," she said, "you cannot go to school in this condition and I'm sure that your teachers will provide your assignments."

              He gently pushed her hand and the icepack away from his face and stood to shuffle into his bedroom on the hope that sleep would provide some sort of reprieve from his suffering. Closing his bedroom door behind him, he glimpsed at himself in the full-length mirror and became angry at the ridiculous cyclical nature of these beatings. Easing himself into bed, he began the relaxation techniques that he had learned, beginning with his toes, and working his way to the top of his head, relaxing each part of his body until he slipped into sleep, no longer feeling anything.

              He woke early to the silence of a sleeping household, when a strange high pitched whistle went off, whether in his ears or his mind he was unsure and he opened both eyes to see the shape of his feet pointing straight up beneath his quilt, still somewhat cold, he pulled his quilt over his head and slipped back into sleep to hear his door open and his mother cross the room. Feeling her hand grip his knee through the covers, he let out a slight groan as her touch unfortunately squeezed a particularly deep bruise. "Breakfast is ready whenever you feel like eating," she said, "hopefully we'll see you downstairs soon."

              The door clicked behind her as she left and he pulled the covers from his head to realize that he couldn't see his hands, or his arms, or any of himself beneath the blankets. "My pajamas are there," he thought, "but where is the me that fills them?" Confused and still aching, he slowly stood up from the bedside and moved to his mirror to realize that his pajamas merely hung in the air, he could still feel himself but could see nothing. He cautiously touched his face, feeling both his face and his hands, when the high-pitched whistle sounded again and he suddenly appeared beneath his clothing, like someone turned a switch, making him visible again.

              "Phew, I am glad that is over," he thought, "imagine trying to explain that to my parents." His digital clock had turned over to nine and he felt ravenously hungry, reached for the doorknob but paused to put on his slippers and his robe, still on the cold side and definitely still in agony but thankful that both eyes now functioned as normal. He managed to eat a reasonable amount of soft food, somewhat satiating his hunger and he returned to his room to get dressed, spending the rest of the day on the couch reading and doing his schoolwork.

              Thankful for the day being Friday, which gave him two more days to heal without missing more school, he slept a lot, read a lot, and worked on regaining his mobility. The mysterious whistling continued to sound, fortunately at opportune times, rendering him invisible and then visible again and he made a mental note of his mental state, his physical state, his emotional state when this occurred until he began to learn to control it, finding the idea of making oneself disappear an extremely helpful ability.

              Sunday night during dinner, now able to eat normal food without pain in his jaw, he looked up from his plate, cleared his throat and posed an unusual question. "Do you guys believe in angels or demons?" he asked, "and if you ever saw one, what would you do?"

              "Hmm, we all hear about stuff like that, and I don't really know what to think," his father said, "I cannot say that I've ever seen anything like that, and I don't know how I would react. Why do you ask?"
              "I don't know for sure," he said, "but you hear stories about guardian angels, and you see movies about evil spirits. I can appreciate the one but not the other, I've just been thinking along those lines lately."

              Returning to school on the next day, he was excited to put his new found ability to practice, in the face of threat from the school bullies, determined to never suffer from their hands again, and thrilled to see their faces when he would disappear, watching them flounder with confusion. Weaving through the heavy traffic of the school hallway, he dropped off his backpack and lunch at his locker and hurried to class, avoiding all contact with other students.

              The bell rang marking the end of class and he returned to his locker to hear snickering and laughing as his four abusers walked towards him with the intent to encircle him to provide another beating, but his response was quicker than theirs and he ran around the distant corner, into the bathroom, to quickly remove his clothes and toss them into the trash can. He pressed himself against the wall, completely invisible and relished their confused looks as they searched each stall, swearing profusely and uttering threats of even more severe beatings.

              As they spoke, he could see shadow-like images surrounding them, far too large to be actual shadows for the fluorescent lighting rendered that an impossibility. The dark images around them lingered as they four boys left and he could feel their eyes upon him, so he avoided eye contact uncertain of the intent of these entities. "You're perfectly fine," he heard a deep voice say, "I'm always here with you and they do not have permission to touch you." Turning toward the voice, he saw possibly the largest human he had ever seen, a man easily seven feet tall, stunningly handsome, and very well built. "I am Azrael," he said, "I've always been at your side and am quite curious as to what exactly happened that you can now see me and them. Use this ability to your advantage, you seem to have crossed over in some sense."

              He thanked the massive man to his left and turned to retrieve his clothing from the waste basket, praying that the bullies had moved on to the next class. He turned himself back on and rushed to his next class, slipping through the door just as the bell rang to see one of his oppressors staring at him from the back of the room.

              His daily life became a pattern of refining his skill of avoiding conflict, interacting with the massive man who apparently had always been with him and feeling horrified at seeing the black creatures every time he went invisible, but being careful to avoid their gaze as he feared their certain hostility. Frustrated and confused at their mere existence, he became bold in his approach and began to spend more time invisible, watching the shadow creatures in their involvement with the other students, a lurking, lingering, penetrating sort of interaction. Seeing an obvious change in the bully's attitude following each aggressive encounter, he thought back to his ancient history classes and the deities worshipped by the earliest civilizations. "This must be what was taking place so long ago," he thought, "clearly these are not gods by any stretch of the imagination, for they only have the power of influence, not control, they seem to suggest not demand, sway but not dominate."

              He could see tendril like appendages penetrate wrap around his fellow students, in awe of and thankful for his protection from such a violation, curious as well to his seeming solitary protection. Having seen and now understanding the constant oversight of his enormous and unstoppable guardian, he struggled to devise some sort of appropriate response or retaliation for this situation, passionately moved to assist his fellow students in whatever even small way that he could.


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