The reflection looking back at him was not an
appealing sight, a roll of fat hung over his belt, his three chins mocked him
for even considering taking action toward their removal, and his moobs no
longer resembled anything even slightly masculine. Liam had rehearsed this
conversation in his head nearly every day for the last three months, determined
to make changes in his life, to bring back the fit and toned body that he had
enjoyed in his college days.
He slipped on his t-shirt in an attempt to
hide the morbid flabbiness that he now called his reality, but his stomach roll
remained visible just below the bottom edge of his shirt. Feeling somewhat
covered and slightly appeased at the minor improvement in his appearance, he
walked out onto his deck to look at the multiple, jagged mountain peaks that
lay just behind his apartment building. His workday hadn’t started yet, with
forty-five minutes before he needed to leave for his office job downtown.
He sat down alone at his kitchen counter and
ate six maple bars with a large mug of coffee, to then waddle to the bathroom,
brush his teeth, and begin his drive in to work, enjoying the silence of the
drive before being immersed in the busyness of his shared office space. He sat
down behind his computer monitor to remove a sticky note pasted to the center
of the screen, an invitation to join his two friends Matteo and Gabriel to
watch a series of short films about rock climbing that evening. Letting out a long
breath, he leaned back in his chair, knowing full well that he had no other
plans and rejecting the offer would only result in insistence from his friends.
The day crawled by as he spent the majority
of his time coding and sitting through two short meetings, wondering why he had
been invited to either of them. At his two o’clock break, he sent an email to
Matteo, confirming his intent to join them that evening but only after getting
dinner first.
Filled up to the top of his neck, or that is
what it felt like, Liam sat with his two friends in a small, locally owned
movie theater to spend the next three hours watching short, independently produced
films about rock climbing, a subject in which he had no interest but figured he
could at least spend this time with his friends rather than sitting at home
alone with his overweight and typically sleeping dog, Arturo.
The series of shorts finally ended, and Liam
climbed out of Matteo’s car to trudge up his short sidewalk to climb three
flights of stairs, as the lift was currently out of order. Still painfully full
from his massive dinner, the exercise of walking so many flights of stairs left
him with the urge to vomit, sweaty and pasty as he finally reached his door.
The sound of snoring from Arturo was the only thing that greeted him as he
crossed his threshold. The combination of wanting to shower but also of wanting
to sleep, left him in a conundrum, so he collapsed on his bed still in his
clothes and promptly fell asleep.
He woke the next morning to
the screeching of his alarm clock to a room full of the combined smell of BO
and feet, forcing him to open his bedroom window, trusting that the sharp smell
would soon dissipate. The morning progressed like it always did on a typical
workday and he dropped himself behind his computer monitor to once again see a
sticky note pasted to the center, informing him that Matteo and Gabriel had
signed the three of them up for a rock-climbing excursion the following
weekend.
The three friends spent that
evening at the local sporting goods store, spending far too money on equipment
that Liam knew he would most likely never use. He pulled himself from bed the
following Saturday morning to find Matteo and Gabriel parked in front of his
apartment. He dropped his equipment in the trunk, dropped himself into the
backseat and tried to picture how the next several hours would progress,
knowing full well that he would be hard pressed to heave his corpulent frame up
a rock face.
Matteo parked the car, and
they walked to the agreed upon point of ascension, to meet a young woman,
stunningly beautiful and remarkably fit. They all introduced themselves and
listened to a brief explanation of the steps they would need to perform to begin
their progress up the mountain side. Liam offered to begin his ascent last and
as he watched his friends perform their steps exactly as they had been
instructed, he, instead, began to wander around the base of the mountain,
chatting with other climbers and pretending to be a climber himself.
He knew the lingo, the
equipment, and had the cheery, chatty demeanor to pass himself off as one who
knew things and was more than happy to offer advice and instruction to anyone
willing to listen, but his swollen, flabby frame exposed the lie, which many
recognized as a blatant and willful attempt at deception. Every other weekend
was the same, as he watched his friends ascend to greater and greater heights,
while he wandered around, telling the same stories, giving the same advice, and
receiving the same curious looks and responses from other climbers.
Despite his deep seeded desire
to join his friends, he simply did not have the willpower or the energy to do
so. His life of deception continued to eat at him, slowly withering his soul
with a disappointment that he could not put into words. While he knew that
everything he was saying and teaching was true, he also knew that his actions
were a lie. He had no way to answer those who silently judged him for his
hypocrisy, hoping that someday he would find a way to take that first step and
become the climber he claimed to be.
As the months continued to
pass by, he became more and more depressed with his ongoing deception and
failure as a human being. He had been lying to his friends for the full
duration of their time “rock climbing”, until one day at work he finally
admitted to the failure and liar he had become, to receive encouraging words
from Matteo to seek advice and help from the climbing instructor. He swallowed
his pride and the following weekend, he made the effort to begin a conversation
with her, explaining the horrible place now found himself.
She offered some direct and
easy advice, suggesting that he start very small, climbing mountainsides that
required no gear or extreme exertion. She directed him to three different
locations to consider, and he followed her advice, eventually giving up his
days of wandering and teaching around the base of the mountain. He spent the
next three months following her direction, to begin to see his weight drop, his
motivation build, and his endurance increase. After six more months, he began
to actually climb, starting back to where he, Matteo and Gabriel had started so
long ago, finding a sliver of joy and satisfaction at finally making some
progress.
Committed to his newfound
success, he vowed to wander and teach no longer, focusing on his own
improvement and progress. A full year passed, and he stood in front of his
bathroom mirror, marveling at the much smaller frame that now faced him,
motivating him to continue, to press himself harder, and to be the climber that
he had formerly claimed to be.
Over time, he found himself
drawing the attention of women at the office, at the pub in the evenings with
Matteo and Gabriel, and at the mountainside, a glorious combination of success
and attention that built his confidence and hope that something good would come
from his new social interaction, trusting that one day he would no longer be
alone in his small apartment with his overweight dog, eating mac and cheese, tv
dinners, and tubs of ice cream.
Looking at Arturo that
evening, he vowed to himself and to Arturo that the two of them would begin
taking walks every other evening. He watched his own endurance continue to
improve and Arturo began to slim down as well, snoring less and becoming more
active around the apartment, chasing the tennis ball that Liam would toss on
occasion.
He and Arturo looked back on their lives
prior to his decision to begin being what he claimed to be and became more and
more driven to continue on this path toward overall excellence and honesty.
No comments:
Post a Comment