Everything to Give

 

Audrey woke up early that morning feeling particularly surly. A short stream of profanity left her lips as she realized that she was wide awake, a full hour before the sounding of her alarm. She slowly sat up, swung her feet over the edge of the bed, and scanned the room for her slippers. “Why is it so cold in here?” she wondered, seeing her breath in cloud form leave her mouth as she spoke to herself. Her orange cat Frances lay curled up in a tight ball at the foot of her bed. “I guess it’s not only me who feels cold.”

Thankful for wearing socks to bed the previous evening, she hurried across the bedroom, down the hall, and into the bathroom. Watching the steam build up after turning on the water, she took a shower, a little too hot, wanting to drive away the chill that touched every ounce of her being. She waited several minutes longer than normal to begin shaving her legs, waiting for the goose bumps to disappear.

Hating to leave the glorious warmth, she turned off the water, shook herself free of excess droplets, and dried off, feeling the cold once again trying to overtake her comfortable state. “Ugh, I’ve got way too much time before I go to work,” she grumbled. She ran a comb through her gloriously long blonde hair to then work it through with a detangler. The heat of the blow dryer was a nice touch of warmth that drove away the cold.

“Stupid furnace, I guess I’ll have to call the manager again,” she said. “I cannot live like this and shouldn’t have to. Hopefully they can fix it while I’m at work.” She scrunched her hair, added some curls, and a few shots of hairspray to make herself look somewhat reasonable. “I wish I could find a man that earns a lot of money, so I can stay home, cook, clean, raise babies, and be the adoring housewife. That would be awesome.”

She hurried across the hallway into her bedroom and argued with herself about what to wear that day. The visions of interacting with her boss, interacting with her co-workers, most of whom were borderline simpletons and distracted by the stupid vanity of the world, tempted her to quit her job. She knew this was not an option, at least not until she found that perfect man who would provide for her. The club scene she dipped into on occasion provided no one of marrying value. She thought about her neighbors, the occasional man on the subway or the grocery store.

“I need to start looking somewhere else,” she said. “None of my friends have offered up anyone who I would even consider marrying. Of course, Mom always has suggestions of men from her church. I suppose a religious guy would be stable and faithful, at least I would hope so. Maybe that’s worth a shot,” she mused.

She finally decided on the blue miniskirt with a white top and flats. “I do not want to spend all day in high heels.” She finally found her slippers and padded around her cold apartment, wondering what to eat for breakfast.  “I’ve got lots of time. Maybe I’ll stop for a muffin and a coffee. Good chance there are eligible men at the bakery or the coffee shop. Here’s for hoping.”

Now fully dressed and comfortable, she returned to the bathroom to apply her makeup and touch up her hair.  “Okay, don’t take too long. If you get there early enough, you’ll have time to chat and flirt if anyone is around,” she said. She slipped her laptop into her bag, reviewed her notes from the meeting the day before, knowing that her boss would be expecting an answer to the long-standing question of how to resolve the database problem that had plagued them for the last week.

“Oh, shoot, I need to call the manager before I leave,” she said. She dialed his number, waited for him to answer, and then explained the problem. “Oh, good, thanks Carl. Yes, please send someone over today. I’ll be at work all day and I would really love to come home to a warm apartment.” She scanned over the apartment for anything valuable or any cash lying around. Seeing nothing worth stealing, she locked the door behind her, took the elevator to the main floor and walked four blocks to the closest bakery and the coffee shop.

Buying two muffins at the bakery, and a large mocha at the coffee shop, she took a seat in a far corner and tried to make eye contact with every reasonable looking healthy young man that entered. On her fourth attempt, the tall, dark, and handsome young man named Jonathan approached her at her table, asking if he could join her. She offered up a small smile and said, “Yes, please, I would love some company.” Thankfully, the conversation went smoothly, as he seemed to be well informed about everything.  They exchanged phone numbers and parted ways.

Trembling with excitement, her imagination got the better of her, as she began to create many different scenarios in her mind of their future relationship. She descended the stairs to the subway, rode for fifteen minutes and ascended to the sidewalk to cross the street and enter her office building. She was three hours into her day when her phone dinged. She glanced at the screen and saw the name of the glorious young man from the coffee shop, asking if he could take her out for dinner the coming weekend.

She replied, “Yes,” and asked for the name of the restaurant where she could meet him. After a few moments, he replied with a name and a time. She thanked him and said she would be there on time and possibly a little early. Once again, her imagination ran away with her, creating images and scenes of the coming weekend. She pictured herself introducing Jonathan to her parents, to her friends, and to her extended family.

Stirred from her introspection, her boss called her into a meeting, looking for answers for the database problem. Fortunately, she had fabricated an answer during her ride on the subway, an answer that seemed to appease him and the guys in IT. Thankfully, the meeting lasted a mere ten minutes, allowing her to return to her fanciful imagination about the handsome Jonathan. “God, I would love to get together with him, quit this boring job and be the perky, happy housewife,” she thought.

The first date took place and could not have gone any better. Which was followed by a countless number of lunch and dinner dates, an introduction to her parents, and a weekend in Paris after six months. They stood together at the Louvre. She watched him drop to one knee and her heart crawled up into her throat. She heard the words she had hoped to hear, and she quickly answered, “Yes.”

They returned to the states and immediately began planning for the wedding. “We need to give ourselves and everyone else enough time to prepare for this. This is a really big deal,” she said.

“I’m thinking that six months should be enough time to make all of these decisions,” he said. “We need to reserve a church, pick out the flowers, the attendants, and create the guest list. Of course, the guest list should come first so people have enough time.”

They sat together at his dining room table, writing down notes, planning for everything they could imagine, and she dreamed of this new future she had so long longed for. “Can you give me a ride home? I really don’t want to navigate the subway like this with all of my luggage.”

“Yes, of course, “he said. “We need to tell our parents right away. Oh, also, I have a great plan for our honeymoon. I want it to be a surprise for you. I promise, you’ll love it.”

After the short drive to her apartment, he walked her to the door, kissed her goodbye, and she watched him walk down the hallway toward the elevator. “Oh wow, this is actually happening. It’s too early to tell my boss that I’m quitting. I need to give my two week notice like a good employee.” She closed her door, sat down on her couch and began dreaming of the new life that would become a reality after the next six months.

“I’ve given so much to that stupid job,” she said. “It seems like no one there appreciates how much I’ve sacrificed the company. Now I can pour myself into being a housewife who gives her all to make her husband happy.” Images of a happy home life, babies, and decades of fun and faithfulness filled her head.

“Oh, so good,” she said. “Now this is just a matter of staying focused on my work, on planning for the wedding and I wonder where he’s thinking about for a honeymoon. I will be that good, loving, faithful wife, who creates a house of peace and joy when he returns home each day. This is so good. I cannot wait to tell my parents.”

“I’ve poured everything into work for the past six years, and now I can pour everything into a husband, a home, and children. It doesn’t get any better than this.” She looked around her empty apartment, saw her cat, and wished that the six months would quickly pass, allowing for their union to happen sooner than later. “We need to be one,” she thought.