Oddball Swimming

     It could be said that Jonathan was an oddball, but being unusual is almost completely subjective, by definition.  Sure, there were cultural norms, but in Jonathan's opinion and really, just simple reality, the culture into which one was born was not chosen, it simply happened.

     Sure Jonathan had unusual tastes and unusual thought patterns, but the tastes and patterns were all his own.  "Nothing," Jonathan said, "will be imposed upon me without my careful, objective inspection."  It could probably be said that Jonathan was a bit of an embarrassment for his family, being the wealthiest and most highly regarded family in the state and probably the entire east coast.  But Jonathan considered none of this with any regard.  What mattered was honesty, with self and with others, and love for neighbor.

     Jonathan loved the water.  He bathed, usually, three times a day and spent much of his time in the river behind his family's home.  He considered it his family's home, but not so much his.  He really spent the majority of his time outside, around the river.  He had one cousin with whom he truly resonated and who resonated with him. 
     If pressed, Jonathan would have to admit that he too was somewhat embarrassed by his family, but for the opposite reasons. They were far too vain, wealthy and pompous.  He did love them though and respected them when respect was due.  Out of respect and love for his family, Jonathan would float down the river, on his own small boat to the edge of the family property, deliberately not using the main gated entrance to the family estate.
Jonathan could see the true state of the culture that surrounded him.  There were the filthy rich (his family and a handful of others) and the desperately poor (the other 99.9% of those in his part of the country).  Though rich, Jonathan really felt connected to the masses of poor around him, and it was with these that his thoughts continually sat.  He spent the money he had (which was a lot until uncle Reginald put a stop to his generosity) on the poor around him.  And he spent his time finding ways to help them, in any way he could, for he had many connections and acquaintances.
     Then one day he stopped. He wandered off into the back country (the 1000 acres of forest and scrub on his parents estate) and was never seen again.  His cousin took over.

NFL

Martin and John loved football.  So much so, it seemed, that you could say they considered themselves the sport's biggest fans.  Sure they had some differences in opinion on some of the finer points of the game, but all in all, they loved football.

But then one day, it happened.  Martin and John were re-watching the 1976 Super Bowl and enjoying a snack of jalapeño cheese dip and Lil' Smokies, when a thought popped into Martin's head.   "John," he said, with a slight smear of cheese on the left side of his lower lip, "I've been thinking."  John looked at Martin and nodded, saying nothing, but giving his full attention.  "I've been thinking that the entire NFL has really lost sight of what the game is really about.  I mean, really, look back to the  beginning of the game, 1920, Ohio, I mean really, it wasn't even called "the NFL" back then.  But they have changed everything so much.  They've added so much.  I think we should start talking to people and see if we can turn things around and get it back to it used to be."

John looked and Martin, paused and then told him that he whole heartedly agreed.  It was settled, Martin and John were going to reform the NFL.  After all Martin had actually been employed by the league at one time. Sure it was many years back and his role was simply that of a janitor, but, in his mind, he was "one of the guys."

The following year was a strenuous one.  The two men spent countless hours writing, calling, lecturing and countless conversations on those things they recognized as erroneous within the NFL and how they could go about fixing them.  The response was both good and bad.  The was a fairly sizable contingent that fully agreed with them, but didn't have the tenacity to give much support.  And needless to say, the NFL authorities were less than enthused over these new efforts.

After countless phone calls, letters and emails, Martin and John got their chance.  The President, Vice President and board of trustees for the NFL agreed to meet with them.  They both were flown out to Germantown, OH, the state where it all began.  But Martin and John were in for a surprise.  As they entered the stadium, they found all of their letters, emails and recordings of their lectures on a table in front of them.  The president of the league looked at them and asked one question, "Is this your material?" Martin had to confess that it was.  A very large man with no neck and a bottle of lighter fluid then lit the entire table on fire and left the stadium.

It was one week later that Martin ran an advertisement in the local newspaper.  "Wanted, powerful athletes for the Original National Football League, call 1-800-555-1234, ask for Martin."