A Soul Almost Gone to Waste

 

                Athanasi was their only child and John and Susan watched the young boy continue to grow, become involved in multiple sports, take on a love of music, both listening to and performing, making many friends as he continued through elementary school, middle school, and high school. After his first year of high school, his parents began to notice a change in his attitude, his interaction with people, and his overall level of kindness when dealing with people far below his level of excellence.

               His grades began to slip, his quality of language began taking on a great deal of profanity, prompting his father to begin asking questions about his wide variety of friends, their interests, and how he was spending his free time. Posters began to appear on his walls of his favorite heavy metal bands, his favorite female actresses in degrading and immodest clothing, prompting his mother to begin raising questions about his life choices.

               On a particular Thursday afternoon, John came home early to learn that Athanasi had not yet returned home from school, as he and Susan sat at the kitchen counter discussing their concerns about Athanasi, they watched as a very loud muscle car pulled into their driveway from which Athanasi emerged in a cloud of smoke.

               “Wow, that is not good,” John said. “We need to put in more effort to help him get back on track, it is like his heart, soul, and mind are slowly shriveling before our eyes.” Athanasi staggered across the lawn, entered the front door, looked at his parents through bloodshot eyes, smiled and excused himself to his room. “I have some homework I need to get done before tomorrow morning,” he said.

               Two more hours passed when Susan began to prepare dinner, John moved himself to the family room to turn on the evening news and could hear the shower start from down the hall. At six o’clock, like always, Susan made the announcement that dinner was ready and everyone needed to come to the dinner table. In less than five minutes, both John and Athanasi joined Susan for dinner, both yawning aggressively.

               “Tell me about the friends that dropped you off this afternoon,” John said. “That was a really loud car with a great deal of smoke pouring out of the open door when you climbed out, what was that all about?”

               “Oh, yeah, that is Daryl’s car,” Athanasi said, “he spends a lot of his time working on his car, making it faster and more powerful whenever he has the opportunity. And the smoke, the two guys in the back seat, Arty and Boris were passing a bong back and forth, now that cannabis is legal, they can’t seem to get enough of it. I do my best to hold my breath whenever they are actively imbibing. When we drive like that, I keep the window open to avoid it’s influence on my mind.”

               “Your mother and I are becoming very concerned about your current life choices and the people with whom you are spending your time,” John said. “I cannot emphasize strongly enough the danger of associating with boys like that; we’re concerned that they will drag you down the wrong path. With your brilliant mind, your athletic skills, your musical skills, and you love for people in general, we would hate to see you lose those possible paths toward success.”

               “If it makes you feel any better,” Athanasi said, “I spend very little time with them. I’m still part of the baseball team, the basketball team, and the football team, as well as marching band, and the debate class at school. At most I’ll spend one afternoon a week with Daryl, Arty, and Boris, I do my best to influence them toward beauty and intelligence.”

               “That would be great if you could positively influence them, but we’re concerned about your exposure to cannabis,” John said. “Taking that into your system will certainly influence the way your brain operates and the negative impact of smoke upon your lungs. We would hate to see your health decline and negatively impact your abilities in your sporting endeavors.”

               “Alright, understood,” Athanasi said. “I will cut down the time I spend with Daryl, Arty, and Boris. You are right about their influence and the cannabis.”

               “Thank you for hearing us, Athanasi,” Susan said as she squeezed her son’s hand. “Try to put more time and effort into spending time with young men of good character, you have so much you can offer the world and continue to improve yourself.”

               Athanasi offered up a smile to his mother and returned the hand squeeze, to then sit back, unbutton his pants and release a satisfied long breath. “Thank you for dinner, Mom,” he said, “I can easily say that your cooking is better than anything I have ever eaten. Like I said earlier, I have homework I need to finish before tomorrow.” He then slid his chair back, excused himself from the table, slapped his father on the back as he walked down the hallway toward his bedroom.

               “That went really well,” John said, “I am really looking forward to seeing how he adjusts his approach to life, to sports, to academics, and to his circle of friends.”

               “Yes, I completely agree,” Susan said.

               “Go sit down and relax for a few minutes,” John said. “I’ll clean up the dining room and kitchen after such a wonderful meal. You deserve a break today.”

               “Thank you, dear,” Susan responded. John watched her rise from the table, walk into the family room, lie down on the couch and rest her feet on one end of the couch with a small pillow under her head.

               Athanasi’s second year of high school reached its end and his grades slowly recovered to complete the year with all A’s, achieving new records in baseball and basketball, and his parent’s watched as his time with friends transitioned away from Daryl, Arty, and Boris. Halfway through the last day of school, Susan slipped into Athanasi’s room and was happy to see that he had taken down the posters of the heavy metal bands and the scantily clad female actresses.

               Two more years of high school came and went, leaving both John and Susan thoroughly pleased with Athanasi’s continued trajectory toward excellence, intelligence, and positive influence on his classmates. Athanasi’s senior year came to an end and he was invited to be the valedictorian speaker at his graduation, which he happily accepted, to then create his speech over a two-week period. John and Susan could hear him practicing his delivery every night for the two weeks preceding the graduation.

               Before and after the graduation ceremony, letters began to arrive in the mail from over a dozen different universities across the western United States, all offering full scholarships for his academic excellence and his athletic abilities. The pile of letters continued to grow on the kitchen counter until Athanasi took an hour to read through them all, create a map of their locations, and eventually identify the top three universities that were most appealing to him.

               He chose the best of the three, submitted his paperwork, and after six years passed, he graduated with his Master’s degree in Chemistry to then take a job in his hometown as a research chemist. On the day of his university graduation, he and his girlfriend Abigail sat at his parent’s dining room table to discuss his plans for work, for marriage, and express his gratitude for the hard work they put into guiding him on his path into adulthood.

               “We are very proud of you, son,” John said. “It has been a wonderful time watching you grow and mature, we are so happy that you transitioned away from certain people during high school. You have become a wonderful young man and from what we are seeing you have chosen a wonderful young lady with whom to spend your time and attention.”

               After six months of working as a research chemist, Athanasi paid off his parent’s mortgage, bought himself and his new bride a house relatively close to his parent’s home.

               “Athanasi,” Abigail said, “I hope I have the opportunity to speak with your parents about the changes you made in your life to become the wonderful person you are today. You really need to take a few weeks off of work, so we can enjoy a proper honeymoon. I would love to go to Paris for at least a week, can you do that for us?”

               “Yes, of course,” Athanasi said, “I know we took a couple days right after our wedding, so a two-week honeymoon in France would be glorious time to spend together. Now that we have our own home, we need to start buying furniture and all of the little things that are necessary to make a house a home.”

               “Oh, very good,” Abigail said, “I’ll start creating a list for us, start making some purchases, and watch as our empty house turns into a beautiful home. We can talk through what style we want to have for our home, and which items should be purchased first. This is so exciting and I cannot wait to make this a beautiful place, which will eventually be filled with a few children.”

               “Wow, children,” Athanasi said, “I think we should spend a couple years enjoying our company, taking vacations, and getting everything in order before children start to arrive. I’m thinking two or three children, I was an only child and that wasn’t very fun because I never had the opportunity to learn to share with someone else.”

Ignoring the Quiet Pieces

 

                Jeffrey poured every ounce of his passion, his desire, and his commitment into what he believed was going to be a life-long relationship, to eventually see it fail, to see his efforts ultimately rejected for something else, for someone else, and come to an ugly and resentful conclusion. The decades of life experience played out in his mind scores of times and he continued to wonder if he had done something wrong, or if the other party involved simply gave up for what ended up being grand deception.

               Distance, time, miscommunication, and intentional deception all resulted in an unfortunate and disappointing finality. Looking in from the outside, he could see the shriveling of a soul, an intentional choice to walk away from everything good, right, and beautiful, knowing that he had done all that he could to make everything right. Stories began to circulate, facts were twisted, lies were spread, his character was defamed, all of which led to disdain and anger for all of those involved.

               As time continued to pass, he began the practice of documenting everything that had taken place over the past several decades, bringing him to the realization that frequently people will tell themselves a story, paint a different reality in their mind, and create a falsely woven narrative with twisted and misinterpreted facts. All of which were used to redefine the truth about time and existence. Personal sacrifice, every effort to be faithful, and open communication was frequently spun to tell a different story.

               Having moved on and away, he created a new set of relationships, a new set of friends who were genuinely honest and passionate about being holy, he came to understand that his previous existence was one that was constantly surrounded by plastic smiles, pretend kindness, and explicit deception to create an image that looked good from the outside but used to hide the hatred and disdain within.

               Like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, he could now breathe easy, knowing that his new life, his new relationships, and his new community actually cared for him, encouraged him, and helped guide him on the path toward holiness. He continued to look in from the outside, receive updates and stories about activity from his former community, sickened by the plasticity, the pretend kindness, and the hidden corruption that so many worked so hard to keep hidden.

               As time continued on, he put in extra effort to not be judgmental, to not condemn others for their sins and weaknesses, and focus on his own failings and weaknesses, knowing that only he could change himself and he could do nothing to change others who lived so far away with no interest in receiving his input or life suggestions. Living in a state of constant frustration, he eventually ceased most conversation and offered input, coming to realize that many did not genuinely care to hear from him.

               Many days when he drove into the large city further north, he watched as a once beautiful farm house slowly decayed into ruin. “Hmm, what a perfect example of what is taking place with most people’s lives,” he thought to himself. “You can paint the outside, mow the lawn, pull the weeds, and allow the inside to reduce to waste and decay.” After nine months of these internal ruminations, the farm house was eventually gone to be replaced by a new home.

               “Wow, that is unfortunate,” he grumbled, “what could have been a beautifully built home has been destroyed and replaced with bland, simple, and plain Americana. If it were up to me, I would restore, improve, and update with every opportunity. Houses used to be beautiful, full of character, well-built and articulate, from everything that I’m seeing lately, all of that precision and beauty is gone.”

               Time continued to pass and he eventually let go of the past, knowing that there was nothing he could offer to rebuild and restore. Again, like a weight had been removed from his shoulders, he began to only look forward, make more plans, and be creative with his time and money. “Advice that is not asked for is not received,” he said to himself, “there is nothing sadder than watching former acquaintances slide into corruption and depravity, knowing that bad decisions were made, leading to a certain ugly future.”

               He remained in contact with those he loved, and who loved him, knowing that he had a few opportunities to positively influence these people. As life continued for him so far away, he put in extra effort to be good, to be kind, to be loving, and to continue teaching and leading. Eventually sliding into deeper and more authentic relationships with those around him, he found that life had become beautiful, enjoyable, and pleasant. “Depth and honesty create a much better life than pretend kindness, fake smiles, and hidden corruption,” he said to himself as he drove in silence.

               Three years slowly crept past, pushing him to continue his documentation of all life events, make more plans, continue improving, and the creation of long-term goals, knowing that simply living a life based on distraction and emptiness would bring no good, no beauty, and no satisfaction. Each time he drove past the now long gone, old farmhouse he could only think of the empty lives of so many people with no real goals other than wealth and comfort, all of which would only lead to shallow emptiness and vanity.

               Sad and disappointed at the tragic turn life had taken a few years back, he knew there was nothing he could do to make things better, to improve the lives of those he loved, unless they were open to suggestion and direction. “I feel like I’m watching the old farmhouse slowly decay and turn into waste and ruin,” he thought. “To watch someone with so much potential deliberately ignore and ruin their life as they seek after pleasure and wealth is a sad reality in which to be trapped.”

               Many more years continued to crawl past, allowing him to sever interaction and dialog with those who really didn’t care, and at the same time, he remained in contact with those he loved, who loved him and wanted to maintain a healthy relationship. “So much greed, so much ignorance, so much vanity, and so much hatred,” he grumbled. “There is really nothing I can do to remedy these problems if no one wants to listen.”

               “This new reality is like standing on a small hill outside of a town with a remedy for disease that is inflicting the entire town when no one wants to partake and resolve the widespread problem,” he grumbled. “Having answers, having solutions, and having the ability to resolve the many problems is a horrible position in which to find oneself, when no one else seems to care.”

               “I feel like I’m standing on a row boat in the middle of the ocean, watching those of my former life slowly drift away after false beliefs, fantastical desires, and outright deception,” he thought. “Time to focus on what I can do, what I can accomplish, and on those who are with me, around me, and open to discussion and the pursuit of holiness,” he said to himself. “There is no sense in putting in energy and effort when those on the receiving end are not in the least bit interested in my input.”

               As time continued to pass, some of those who were formerly connected to him began to reconnect, restore, and make things right. At the same time, others only continued to distance themselves from him, rejecting his attempts at connection, and desire to make things right. Continuing to watch from the outside, he saw others continue down a path of self-destruction, self-deception, and the love of wealth, all of which only led to further confusion and suffering.

               “Okay, Jeffrey,” he thought, “time to grasp the reality of the situation, focus my attention and energy on those who I love, who love me, and are open to genuine interaction and relationship. Stop wasting your time and energy on those who do not care.” He continued to grow old, grow tired, and be creative, all of which led to a greater things, greater life, and greater joy, knowing that a beautiful future lay ahead of him.

               “Wow, I feel so much better right now,” he thought. “Redirecting my thoughts, my money, and my energy into something that actually produces goodness and truth makes so much more sense.” The world around him continued to slide into deeper and more corrupt depravity, communicating the truth about the consequences of sin and selfishness which he knew to be true for the past many decades. “Our culture is literally destroying itself, destroying the innocence of youth, and leading our nation toward death and emptiness.”

Sufficient or Ideal

 

                Madeline rose that particular morning just as the sun was peeking over the distant hills, she pulled herself from her warm and cozy bed, took a quick shower, and descended to the kitchen to put together lunches for the children and prepare breakfast for everyone before they departed for school. In what seemed to be a whirlwind of activity, after about forty-five minutes she stood alone in a warm and quiet house, wondering what the day would bring.

               “I need a short break,” she grumbled to herself, “I certainly have some free time to sit on the couch, scroll through social media, and think about what to make for dinner.” Collapsing in a heap with her feet up on the arm rest of the couch, she spent the next thirty minutes distracting herself with funny cat videos, messages from friends and family, to then think about the possibilities for dinner.

               “I should probably search through the freezer and the cupboards to see what options I have for the evening meal,” she said out loud, despite being alone. Pulling herself to her feet, she searched the freezer to realize that there was no meat to prepare. “Ugh, looks like I’ll need to make a trip to the grocery store sooner than later.”

               After fifteen minutes in her closet and the bathroom, working to make herself presentable, she eventually found her keys and began the trip across town with a mental list of what was needed to prepare dinner. Ten minutes into her trip, she drove past a small collection of tents that belonged to homeless people. “Wow,” she thought, “that must really be difficult living like that, no warmth, no family, and no hot food. It would be good to do something nice for those in need.”

               She parked as close to the grocery store entrance as she could, retrieved a cart near the main entrance, started on the right side of the store and worked her way across the entire building, eventually finding everything she needed. “I should pick up a couple of those deli chickens for the homeless people,” she thought, “maybe I’ll get a couple burritos for myself for lunch too.”

               Paying for the groceries from the shared bank account, she pushed the now bagged groceries to her car to transfer everything into the trunk. As she drove away, she slowed and stopped at the collection of tents to hand out the deli chickens to a group of young women and children who were genuinely thankful for her kind gesture. “Thank you so much, ma’am,” one of the young women said, “this is a difficult life and it seems like no one cares to help.”

“Yes, of course, I am more than happy to help,” Madeline said.

“Phew, okay, time to go home and enjoy my burritos,” she thought. As she pulled into her driveway, she pressed the garage door opener, pulled inside, pressed the button a second time and began hauling the bags of groceries into the house. “So warm, so safe, so clean,” she said out loud, despite being alone. “Let’s see, I have at least six hours before I need to start preparing dinner, I should probably spend some time cleaning and organizing so I don’t waste more time on social media.”

Four o’clock in the afternoon arrived faster than she expected, reminding her that she needed to begin preparing dinner before her spouse and children arrived home. “You know, I think I have a few minutes that I can run to the grocery store again and give some more food to those poor people, let’s see how that goes.”

After a quick trip to the deli section, she returned to the collection of tents, delivered much more food than the first time, and was pulled into a conversation with an elderly man who clearly had not bathed in many weeks. “You look all nice and clean,” he said, “you should try living like the rest of us for a while so you understand what life is like for those who do not enjoy great abundance.”

“Have a good day, sir,” she said. “Enjoy your meal and I hope you can find a good path forward for yourself.” She gave friendly goodbyes and hugs to the multitude of young women with their children and drove home to park in her clean and safe garage.

Passing through her back porch, family room, and kitchen, she sprawled out on the living room floor to stare into the ceiling, hearing the old man’s words replay in her mind multiple times. “You know, he’s probably right, I really have no idea what a difficult and hungry life is really like,” she thought. “I think I’ll leave a note, change my clothes into something practical and walk back to the collection of tents and understand a different life.”

She scribbled out a note, changed into practical and comfortable clothes to begin her walk back to the homeless encampment, leaving everything else behind. As she approached, she was greeted in a most friendly way by everyone there, was invited into a tent by a young mother. “You can stay with me, if you’d like,” she said. “We women need to look out for one another; there are a lot of very bad men out there who will take advantage of you if you don’t know how to hide and protect yourself.”

Two weeks passed and she began to truly comprehend what real hunger actually felt like, what living without a bath felt like and how dangerous the world actually was for someone without love and protection. “I need to figure out how to get some money,” she grumbled. She crawled out of the tent, sat on a small box near the road, and began interacting with multiple different men, offering the use of her body in exchange for money. “This is really disgusting,” she thought, “at least now I know what an uncomfortable life feels like.”

She spent the next six weeks offering herself multiple times a day in exchange for money. When she had collected enough money to buy herself food and clothes, she walked to the grocery store to use their restroom to clean herself and buy new clean clothes and a healthy meal. It was then that she noticed warts and sores appearing on her body, terrified at the likely outcome of her life choices.

“This is crazy,” she thought, “maybe I’ll return to the house and see if everyone is doing alright.” Now clean and presentable, she walked back to her former residence to find that the locks had been changed and a different family now lived in the house. “Well, I guess I can go visit extended family members and find some help.”

After visiting four different addresses, she received only rejection because of her abandonment of everyone who she said she loved and who formerly loved her. “It seems I have no other choice but to return to the collection of tents and continue this life of selling myself. I should try to find a clinic that can provide some medicine for whatever it is that is wrong with me.”

Walking in the opposite direction, she found a free medical clinic, entered, and sought help for her health struggles. A nurse took her to a small examination room, told her to undress, and put on a gown in order to be examined and properly treated. She did as she was told, put on the gown, laid down on the examination table and waited for the doctor to arrive. The doctor and two nurses entered the room and began a thorough examination of her, searching every inch of skin, and every orifice.

“My name is Madeline,” she said when asked.

“We are seeing at least three different STD’s Madeline,” the doctor said. “We have medicine we can give you to clear these from your body. I strongly recommend that you cease all sexual activity so you don’t spread these diseases to anyone else or pick up any other diseases in the meantime.”

The doctor and one of the nurses left the room, while the second nurse helped Madeline to her feet, instructed her to change back into her clothes and wait at the counter for her medicine to be given to her. Madeline did as she was told, thankful for gaining understanding of her medical condition, and instructions on how to proceed in life for the next several months. The nurse left the room, Madeline removed the gown, changed into her own clothing and waited at the front desk to receive her medicine.

She left the clinic, returned to her former residence, knocked on the door and was greeted by a young couple who invited her inside. “Hello, she said, “I used to live here, could you tell me to where the former owners moved?”

“I’m sorry,” the young woman said, “we have no idea where they went. We can give you the name of the real estate agent that handled the transaction, he may be able to give you some information.” The young man rose to his feet, entered the kitchen, and returned with a business card. “You can call him at this number or you can visit him at his office at this address,” he said, “I’m sorry we were unable to help you with this.”

Madeline stood up, shook hands with both of them, and left the house to begin the long walk to the real estate office, as she had no cellphone. “This is crazy,” she said to herself as she walked, “hopefully the agent can give me information of some value.” She walked for nearly an hour, entered the office and asked for the agent. She was directed to wait for a few minutes as the agent would be out to assist her with her needs.

A middle-aged man emerged from the hallway, invited her to follow him to his office, where they both sat down and she shared her story with him, her bad choices, and her need to find her family that she had abandoned so long ago.

“I’m sorry, Madeline,” he said, “I do not know to where the former owners of that home moved. I have a feeling that they moved out of the area, as I did not see a sale in their name recently. I wish you the best of luck as you move forward with your life.”

Madeline left his office, left the building, and began her walk back toward the collection of tents, feeling sick at the idea of what she had given up, hating the idea of going back to selling herself for money. As she entered the collection of tents, she was warmly welcomed and entered the tent that was formerly her place of safety. “I cannot do this any longer,” she thought. “I made a long string of bad choices, now what do I do?”

She exited the tent, walked toward the highway, found an overpass, waited for the traffic to thin out and speed up, giving her the opportunity to throw herself off of the overpass to be crushed upon landing on the blacktop and driven oven by a truck and trailer. A horrible feeling of despair, loss, and failure engulfed her as she ascended away from her body, wondering what had happened to her family that she abandoned so long ago.

Sniped - Expansion

 

                Anthony woke up in the early morning to a flurry of text messages from his mates from Afghanistan, all of which communicated the same message that contact had been made with multiple other groups of soldiers in small communities in and around London. “This could turn into a big, complicated, and confusing mess,” he muttered to himself, “now is the time to send a group text so we can approach this in an organized manner.”

               Later that day everyone gathered at Alan’s home to create an organized plan of several meetings with the other groups of soldiers. “Thank you everyone for coming,” Anthony said, “we need to be careful to schedule these meeting so they do not overlap one another. Let’s limit this to no more than two meetings a week. I think we need to depend on the other soldiers to find us a meeting place that is convenient for them.”

               Within four days’ time, six meetings were planned and addresses and times were communicated. Alan, Anthony and Jeffrey traveled to Rotherham to meet with ten other soldiers to communicate the serious nature of what was taking place in and around London. The three men arrived in a single vehicle, parked at the front door of a local Anglican church, entered the conference room to find the ten men who had agreed to meet them.

               All six meetings took place, plans were made, and a detailed approach was outlined for each group of men. The original group of men who accompanied Anthony carefully communicated their approach to dealing with how to observe and infiltrate the Pakistani homes that were housing and abusing so many young girls.

               After two weeks of aggressive behavior toward the Pakistani gangs, Anthony and his mates gathered at Alan’s house to watch the news, document all that was happening, and celebrating the raging success that they had helped start. “Gentlemen, clearly our work in our neighborhoods has been very successful, and we are seeing at least six other groups similar to ours achieving the same success. This is certainly grounds for celebration.”

               A hearty round of cheers exploded in the room. “I think we should gather everyone involved in this work of protection of the young and innocent and throw a huge celebration,” Jeffrey said. “The next step will be to work through the details of how the other groups of soldiers can take on the role of providing protection for these children as they walk home. We can have that conversation once we all gather together.”

               “Yes, exactly,” Alan said, “I was thinking the same thing, everyone needs to start placing phone calls to put us all in contact to celebrate this glorious victory. We need to clarify who will be calling who and decide on a central location. I think we should pick a restaurant that has a large conference room where we can eat, drink, and be merry.”

               Anthony pulled up a map on his laptop, marked the locations of the work that was being done, opened a text document to create a list of names and responsibilities. Several restaurants were suggested, a vote was taken and a decision was made. After three days’ time, multiple phone calls were made, a date and time was communicated to result in a large gathering of soldiers celebrating the great work they had all accomplished.

               Anthony stood from his place at the table, moved to the front of the room, and explained the great success he and his team had found in providing protection for the groups of girls as they walked home. “I would suggest that you other groups of soldiers find a way to create dialog with the parents of these girls, now that you have successfully rescued a great number of them, I am certain that they would be interested in you continuing your work of protection each day after school. Let’s all stay in contact so we know and understand your approach and your successes.”

               The meal was finished, phone numbers and email addresses were shared, and words of encouragement were passed around and the room slowly emptied with each group of soldiers returning to their neighborhoods. Anthony and his team returned to Alan’s home for a final meeting about the next steps for taking down another Pakistani house. “Just like we have done on the other houses,” Anthony said, “we all know what to do, when to do it, and how to move forward. Let’s stay in contact as we identify the next Pakistani gang and their location. Alan, I’ll leave the determination of a sniping location up to you once we identify an address.”

               In the exact same pattern as before, Alan posted himself with a clear view of the Pakistani house to hear and see activity inside as the rest of the team infiltrated and executed the guilty men. Within thirty minutes after ending the guilty parties, a van load of teenage girls was driven home, while Alan dropped armor piercing bullets into multiple engine blocks, and bullets into the bodies of more men as they approached the house to continue their abuse. When his work was complete, he dissembled his rifle and waited in the alley for his ride to arrive.

               Addresses were communicated, giving Anthony the opportunity to speak with the parents of these traumatized girls, communicating their success of providing protection while the girls walked home from school each day. He handed out his contact information to all twelve families, received thankful confirmation and formed a schedule for several weeks. After speaking with the father on the last drop off, Anthony encouraged the man to be in dialog with the other fathers and the school about what would be taking place over the next several weeks.

               When Anthony and Jeffrey arrived in the van to retrieve Alan from the alley, everyone joined together three days later to watch the news and see how the police explained all that had happened on that violent evening. “I am happy to say men, that our efforts and the efforts of the other soldiers have proved to be incredibly successful,” Anthony said. “At this point, we have destroyed this horrific and abusive work of these Pakistani gangs. We will continue to watch the news and presume that the rest of these gangs will stop this horrible work, thinking that we will be coming for them soon.”

               Anthony and his mates continued their protective work for three weeks at the local school and during that time received multiple phone calls from the other groups of soldiers in the nearby neighborhoods, communicating that they were having wonderful success in their protective work. When the three weeks were over, Anthony, his mates, and the other soldiers all gathered at Alan’s home to celebrate their success.

               “Gentlemen,” Anthony said, “we have done a great thing in our efforts to protect these young girls. We all need to continue watching the news to see how the police respond to this work of removing these horrible people. I believe at this point we have communicated a strong message to London, the neighborhoods around London, and the criminal underworld. I will leave the decision up to all of you if you want to continue your work of protection.”

               “I can speak for our team,” Alan said, “we will no longer continue our work of protection after three weeks but will continue to pursue other Pakistani houses for cleansing and cessation. The more of these groups we take out, the less of them there will be to hunt and harass the school girls walking home. I encourage you all to stay in contact with these parents so there is good communication about their desires and your plans.”

               Over the next hour, Alan’s house emptied of all other visitors with everyone feeling thrilled and excited about their incredible success. The next afternoon Anthony and his mates created a plan for taking out another Pakistani house, with the same incredible results. A dozen more girls were returned home, a new plan was created for three weeks of protection at their school and more news was watched as the police continued to be confused about all that was taking place, and how they were miserably failing in their job of protecting society.

               Many conversations were had, three weeks of protection followed, giving Anthony and his team another opportunity to bring the abuses of another Pakistani house to an end. Alan continued his work of executing the men that sought to enter the home to continue their abuse, dropping armor piercing bullets into engine blocks, and prepare for another celebration at Jeffrey’s home.

               Anthony and his team gathered at Jeffrey’s home the next day, “Gentlemen, we have a very strong pattern in place here and I think we should continue what we are doing. We will continue seeking out more Pakistani homes like the others and continue our work, followed up by three weeks of protection for these girls. We know that the police are somewhat involved in this abuse and seem to be unwilling to step in and protect the innocent, so we will need to continue in this role.”

               In a monthly cycle, Anthony and his team took out one house at a time for the following nine months until they reached an end when the abductions finally stopped altogether.

Sniped - Protection

 

                Anthony climbed out of the van because of Jenny’s prompting to meet her parents, he received a vigorous and passionate hug from the little girl to then shake hands with her father and receive another hug from her mother. A little bit of small talk followed as Anthony explained how he and his mates from the military made the decision to take action against the abductions that were taking place in the communities around London. He and Jenny’s father stepped to the side and watched Jenny and her mother walk into their home.

               “I cannot thank you enough for taking on this massive problem that our nation is facing,” her father said. “We have been worried sick regarding Jenny’s wellbeing, we reported her disappearance to the police and they have done nothing to find her. Again, thank you so much for bringing her home.”

               “Yes, of course,” Anthony answered. “My crew and I had the highest kill rate across Afghanistan for the last three years. We used these skills to track down the Pakistani gangs. We put an end to a large number of these evil men, so they cannot continue this depravity they have imposed on our culture. We have plans to do this same thing in three other communities.”

               Jenny’s father initiated another powerful handshake and a shoulder hug for Anthony. “I have a general idea of what Jenny has suffered and I have to say I am glad I do not know the details of what those men did to her.”

               “It is probably best that way,” Anthony said. “Here is my card with my phone number, please call me and keep me updated about Jenny’s recovery from all of this. If you have any other thoughts or questions, don’t hesitate to make contact.”

               The two men shook hands a third time and Anthony returned to the van to drive back and retrieve Alan from the alleyway behind the apartment complex. “Wow, that was horrible,” Anthony said. “No little girl should have to go through that kind of abuse, it seems like she has a great home life, good parents, and it sounds like she’ll be getting the therapy she needs to recover from this.”

               Two days later, Anthony and his mates met again to make plans for executing the next step against the next Pakistani gang in a neighboring community. Following the same path and planning schedule as they did in their first strike, they found the worst perpetrators, placed Alan in a third story apartment across from the Pakistani headquarters, prepared a van and a second getaway car to be parked behind the house. Like clockwork and very much like their work in Afghanistan, they powered into the house, began executing the dozen men that were in the house, rescued the girls and began bringing them home.

               Alan carried out his responsibility with precision, executing fourteen men who approached the front door, dropping them when they entered the house. One hour later, Anthony and Jeffrey retrieved Alan from the alleyway behind the apartment complex. “Wow, that was another perfect execution,” Anthony said. “Knowing that we’re using our skills to destroy evil and protect the innocent is remarkably satisfying.”

               The following morning Anthony was pulled from sleep by his ringing phone, struggling up onto his elbow, he answered the phone to hear Jenny’s father asking for a favor.

               “Hello Anthony,” he said, “I have been speaking with several other fathers from girls at Jenny’s school. We made the decision to ask you if you and your team would be interested in taking on a security role when the girls walk home from school. We were thinking that if you surrounded them as a protective shield, no one would even think about attempting an abduction.”

               “Oh, hello sir,” Anthony said, “I think that is a great idea. I’ll talk to the other guys and gather our thoughts. A job of protection of the innocent is something the police should be doing but since they are not, I think I can say with confidence that we would be happy to take on that role. I’ll give you a call this evening to confirm.”

               Anthony pulled himself from bed, took a shower, and sent a text to everyone in the group, explaining the nature of the phone call from Jenny’s father. They all agreed to meet for lunch at the local pub and work through the details of what a protection security team would look like.

               Once everyone arrived, Anthony thanked everyone for taking the time to gather and discuss this important idea. “I wanted to share my first thought,” he said, “obviously we cannot use live rounds against these perpetrators, I believe tranquilizers will be the best approach. If we work in teams of four, we can walk with these girls and safely deliver them to their homes.”

               “Those are very good ideas,” Jeffrey said, “in addition to that, after we tranquilize these guys, we can follow them back to their homes and possibly rescue other victims.”

               “Another great idea,” Alan said. “If I continue my work of firing from a distance, I can destroy their vehicles, which will prevent them from continuing this work. I had another idea; we should research and see if there are other mates around London from the military to help us with this. Surely there are many other communities that are struggling with dealing with this kind of depravity. I know all of us have other contacts from our time of service, so let’s do our research and see if we can increase our reach to bring more of these gangs to an end.”

               The men finished their meals and went their separate ways, at which time Anthony placed a phone call to Jenny’s father to confirm that everyone was excited about the idea of continuing to help and protect the innocent. “If you tell me what time the girls are released from school, we can be prepared to meet them out front and walk them home,” he said. “Our plan is to work in teams of four so that more protective work can be done at one time.”

               “Oh, thank you so much,” Jenny’s father answered. “They are released from school at 2:45 pm. I’ll contact the other fathers and let them know your response and I’ll contact the school as well so there won’t be a problem there. I know that my wife and the mothers of the other girls will be thrilled knowing that the threat of abduction no longer needs to be a concern.”

               “Oh, one other thing,” Anthony said, “everyone on my team made the decision to reach out to other soldiers in the communities around London, to see if they would be interested in taking on similar roles in the schools near them. We need to figure out how to communicate this to the families in those areas. I’ll stay in contact once we know who and where the other soldiers can assist us.”

               Anthony sent a text communicating the details of his conversation with Jenny’s father and all twelve men met at the front of the school at 2:30 to create an imposing image. Fully armed with tranquilizer pistols, they formed three teams of four and were quickly joined by dozens of little girls who were very excited to have protection with them as they walked home.

               Flanked by four large, armed men as they walked home in different directions, Anthony noticed the occasional group of Pakistani men looking at them and clearly making the decision to not engage or attempt an abduction. Knowing that Alan was on the third floor of an apartment building with a clear view of the sidewalks and groups of people, the other men were encouraged to carry out the work before them.

               All three groups succeeded in bringing each girl safely home, to then return and regroup in front of the school in case there were other children who needed protection on their way home. As they gathered, they found that the sidewalks were empty with the exception of multiple vehicles carrying Pakistani men looking disappointed and frustrated. In a rapid sequence of explosions, multiple vehicles stopped operating, as Alan laid armor piercing bullets into multiple engine blocks.

               All twelve men met Alan at the local pub and celebrated their successful first run with delivering the young girls home safely. “Well, that was a fabulous day, gentlemen,” Anthony said. “My hope is that if we continue this for several weeks, the Pakistani gangs will give up, presuming that they have no chance to successfully engage in more abductions. A consistent presentation of our presence should bring an end to this wicked depravity.”

               “Oh, one question,” Jeffrey said, “did anyone make contact with other soldiers in surrounding communities? If we can make this effort a regular part of every school day, we will have succeeded in stopping a dangerous situation for these families.”

               All twelve men confirmed that they had received no positive responses from the other soldiers. “Well, that is really disappointing,” Anthony said. “I think if we contact all of them and put together a meeting so we can communicate the dire need for this and answer specific questions. We cannot allow this effort to fail; this is far too important. Our fellow brothers need to understand just how horrible a reality this is for these families.”

               “I completely agree,” Jeffrey said. “Everyone please reach out to those with whom you have been in contact. We need to decide on a date, a time, and a location to keep this good work moving. Also, we have had two successful Pakistani home destructions take place, so let’s get started on the third in the next community over. This work that we are doing will create safety and protection for these families. This is far too important to just walk away from it.”

Sniped

                Anthony sat in his living room watching the local news about the increase of the abductions of teenage girls from the suburbs of London. He could feel anger rising within him. “This is unreal,” he grumbled. “What has happened to our society that the weakest members of our culture are being taken advantage of and abused by certain groups of immigrants? Clearly the authorities are doing nothing about resolving these crimes, maybe I’ll make a few phone calls and see if there is something me and my buddies can do to bring this to an end.”

               Picking up the remote, turning off the television, and dropping the device on the coffee table before him, he stepped onto his balcony to look down upon the always busy streets below him. “Yep, exactly what I expected to see,” he groaned. “Roaming groups of middle-aged men following young girls around. Anthony, you really need to make that phone call, draw up specific plans, and take action, all of this is just so wrong.”

               “Wow, I am really hungry, maybe I’ll text the guys and get together for lunch so we can talk this out in person,” he said to himself. Dropping himself back upon his couch, he fired off the text to his collection of friends with whom he had served in Afghanistan. Within twenty minutes he had twelve positive responses to gather at the local pub for bangers and mash and possibly a pint. Looking at his watch, he realized that he had less than one hour to get ready, and walk to the pub.

               As Anthony entered the pub, he instantly saw six of his friends at a large booth in the far corner. Within ten minutes all twelve men arrived, once everyone had gathered and ordered their lunch, he launched into his angry diatribe about the rape gangs that were plaguing the weakest members of their city. “Because the authorities are doing nothing about this,” he said, “and from what I am hearing, they are turning a blind eye to all of this corrupt and abusive activity, so as not to appear as being racist. With that in mind, we need to start watching our neighborhoods, make our presence known, and start sniping these evil men. Our group had the highest kill rate in Afghanistan with each one of us being the top snipers in the military.”

               “Anthony, you are absolutely right,” Jeffrey said. “We will need to take some time to observe, scout, and research who these people are and where they are taking these girls. We need to act fast though and begin this work of clean up. Taking out bad guys is our job. This kind of abuse of the weak and innocent has no place in our society.”

               “Thank you, Jeffrey,” Anthony said. “Does anyone else have any thoughts or hesitation about following this path? Let’s all stay in touch, watch the news, and see where most of this criminal activity is taking place. Speak up now if you’re not interested in being involved in this.”

               Their lunches arrived and they transitioned their conversation to next steps, identifying neighborhoods, and being subtle about their actions. Four days later, a specific and detailed plan was put together, very similar to how they worked together in Afghanistan. Weapons were prepared, specific men were identified, and the top four neighborhoods were identified as having the worst of this activity.

               Alan was named as the key sniper, taking his place on the third floor of a neighboring apartment complex, across the street from a home that housed multiple middle-aged men. As they continually surveyed the activity in that home, they watched as multiple girls were taken inside to be followed by a steady stream of Pakistani men.  As darkness began to settle, Alan was in place with a heat sensor scope on his rifle as the other ten men, dressed in full military gear entered the house from all four directions.

               Alan kept his eyes focused on the activity inside the home, his heat sensor scope showing all of the details. Muffled gunshots sounded from inside of the house. Anthony and Jeffrey moved from room to room, communicating to the caged girls that they were there to help and bring them home. As each girl was released from their cage, they were instructed to clothe themselves and gather in the kitchen. “This makes me absolutely sick to the stomach,” Anthony said to Jeffrey, “what kind of men would treat other human beings like this; this is so wrong.”

               Alexander had parked the van behind the house and waited for the gaggle of young girls to emerge. A second vehicle sat unmanned behind the van, giving the group of retired soldiers the means to quickly leave the premises. The girls all climbed into the van, gave their home addresses and Alexander marked each on the paper map, creating the most efficient path to bring them home. Jeffrey sat in the front passenger seat and talked Alexander through the directions to the first home. “Wow, Alexander, that was a horrible and bloody situation,” he said. “I don’t feel a hint of regret at ending those men. I hope these girls get the therapy they need and recover from this. What a horrible situation.”

               The van slowly and carefully drove away from the back of the house to be followed by their friends in the second vehicle. “Hey, Jeffrey, you need to radio Alan and tell him we’ll come back for him once we drop off the girls at their homes.”

               “Yes, great point, I’ll do that,” Jeffrey responded. “I know I heard multiple gun shots as we were leaving. I’m guessing that was Alan sniping off the men who were waiting in line to come into the house to feed their lust for control and abuse.”

               “Hey, Alan,” Jeffrey said, “how did all of that go for you?”

               “It went great,” he answered, “I took out at least ten men as they approached the front door of the house. I have to admit that was a great feeling knowing that we were helping those who were being abused. I have to say I am really glad I stayed active at the gun range since we returned from Afghanistan.”

               “That is awesome to hear,” Jeffrey said. “We’ll be back to pick you up after we drop off the girls at their homes, it’ll probably be about an hour. So, pack up, stay obscure. I’ll make contact again when we’re close to picking you up.”

               “Perfect, sounds good,” he answered. “I assume I’ll meet you in the alley behind the apartment complex?”

               A few minutes before arriving at the first home, Jeffrey offered the use of his phone to the first girl. “I think you should call your parents and let them know you’ll be home in a few minutes,” he said.

               “Thank you for doing this,” she said. She took the phone, dialed her mother’s number and gave a very brief explanation of her situation. Alexander pulled up in front of the house, and watched two very excited and happy parents emerge from the front door, as their daughter hurried out of the van to turn and wave as they drove away.

               This became a regular pattern at each home. “Wow, this is such a good thing,” Jeffrey said. “We used the skills we have to protect the innocent and remove evil men. It is so fulfilling to see happiness and restoration. I hope these girls are able to work through this. Talk about a traumatic, and psychological devastating situation for all of them. I’m looking forward to watching the news once all of this is revealed to the public.”

               The last girl was dropped off at her home to turn and motion for Jeffrey to get out of the vehicle, to whom she gave a hug and invited him to meet her parents and receive copious thanks, a handshake from her father and a hug from her mother. “We have been watching the news about all of this that has been happening and with the authorities doing nothing to stop it, me and my teammates from Afghanistan knew we needed to do something,” he said. “Seeing your family being made whole again is a beautiful thing.”

               Alexander drove he and Jeffrey back to the apartment complex to retrieve Alan from the alley. “Okay, guys, we need to be discreet about all of this. Do not tell anyone about this and watch the news. This has been a great day. Knowing that we’ve helped the innocent and destroyed a criminal organization that was preying on the weak and innocent.”

               “Now that the full darkness of the evening has fallen,” Alexander said, “we can easily slip back into our homes without drawing attention to ourselves. We need to get together at one of our homes and see what the news says about all of this. It will be thrilling to see the police try to explain what we’ve accomplished when it was something they should have resolved a long time ago.”

               The next evening, all twelve men met at Alexander’s home, ordered pizza delivery, and several six packs of Guinness, as they talked through the latest news reports. “Thankfully, no one saw us enter or leave and there was no cell phone video footage,” Alan said. “Honestly, the police look like a bunch of bumbling fools in the midst of the bloody massacre. Let’s hope that other rape gangs will see this as a hint, wondering that they may be next if this doesn’t change. I would be more than happy to repeat this process if we can find any more of this kind of activity, but we need to be careful.”

“I completely agree,” Anthony said. “There are three more neighborhoods that need our attention. “I suggest we take the same approach as we did at the first neighborhood but we should probably wait a few days before we take on another rape gang. We shouldn’t wait too long because this abuse will continue until we take action. These girls need help and protection and it seems like we are the only ones who are willing to step up and intervene.”

Living with you is a Challenge

 

                Eric sat on the edge of his bed thinking about the many decisions that had been made over the last thirty years and wondering how his current lifestyle would be different if different decisions had been made during this time. His heart and mind were a maelstrom of different ideas, different thoughts, and different paths, forcing him to wonder about a different future. Releasing a long, frustrated sigh, he flopped back onto his mattress and knew that there was only one path forward.

               “A different perspective, I need a different perspective,” he grumbled to himself. Psychologists talk about viewing one’s life and life decisions from a ten-thousand-foot view, I wonder what I’ll see if I take that approach? Feeling like he was in the middle of a tornado, he closed his eyes and saw himself ascending a tower to look down upon the small city in which he and his lived. “They look like ants,” he thought, “maybe I’ll just watch for a while and see what comes from taking on this perspective.”

               The wind was slight and the temperature was comfortably warm, allowing him to focus on everything that was going on far below him. “Okay, be careful, be attentive, and remember what you see from those you know,” he said. It was at that moment that he realized that most of those below him were surrounded by a dark cloud but there were a few who emanated a golden glow but number was very small. “That’s really curious,” he said to himself.

               The sound of someone calling his name pulled him from his vivid imagination and high-level view. Pulling himself to his feet, he descended the stairs to find that dinner was ready and everyone seemed to be grumpy about his late arrival. “Sorry, everyone,” he said, “I dozed off for a few minutes and was having an incredibly vivid dream. Dinner looks really good.”

               Vigorously rubbing his face, he realized that everyone at the table emanated that same golden glow except for one person who was surrounded in a dark cloud and always appeared grumpy and sullen. “Hey, I was thinking that after dinner we all could take a walk and enjoy the sunshine, the gentle breeze, and the beauty of nature.” The response did not come as a surprise, as those who were glowing gold all responded positively and the dark, sullen one, quickly finished her dinner, left the table, and barked orders for everyone to clean up before they all left for their walk.

               Within twenty minutes, everyone completed their dinner, and rose to clear their places, organize the kitchen, find their shoes and jackets and hurry outside for a fun filled family walk, save one person who merely grumbled in her solitude. He and those with him weaved through a number of residential neighborhoods and as they walked, he realized that most of those they passed by or interacted with carried the same dark cloud and sullen attitude.

               “Hey everyone, I have been thinking about how important it is to be filled with joy, to be kind to others, and to always do good to those around you,” he said. “Being a light and a joy to everyone you meet will make our community a better place.” Darkness slowly began to settle, prompting everyone to increase their speed and return home. As they all pushed into the house, Eric found a note on the kitchen table, calling him a number of foul, crude, and vulgar names, complaining that they had all abandoned her and she was now gone forever.

               He quickly shoved the note into his pocket to listen to the children wander around the house calling the name of the one now missing. “It looks like she’s gone,” one of them said. “This is really odd, I wonder why she just disappeared without saying anything?”

               “I don’t think we have anything to worry about,” Eric said. “As you get older and interact with different people, you’ll come to realize that people will oftentimes make bad decisions without giving any consideration to the consequences of their actions. Everyone needs to shower or bathe tonight before going to bed. I guess we’ll see what tomorrow brings.”

               A round of arguments, complaints, and demands for who would shower first erupted as everyone hurried to their bedrooms to gather whatever was necessary to make the evening come to a conclusion. Sixty minutes passed and the final child emerged from the shower with the suggestion that they all watch a movie together before going to bed. “I think that’s a great idea,” Eric said. “It is always good to do things together as a family. I’ll make some popcorn while you all decide on which movie to watch.”

               Bumping around the kitchen, Eric generated two massive bowls of popcorn, and a case of soda from the fridge to find that the children decided on an action movie. He passed out the snacks and drinks, dimmed the lights and called for someone to start the movie so the hour didn’t get too late. “You all have school tomorrow and I have work, so let’s not get to bed too late tonight.”

               The movie ended amidst munching of popcorn and the popping open of soda cans. “Alright, everyone brush your teeth and get to bed as soon as possible,” he said. “I’ll clean up while you get yourselves in order.” Following a mini stampede, the house was silent within twenty minutes, giving him time to get the house clean and in order. “Wow, what a weird night,” he grumbled. “Looking at this from a ten-thousand-foot perspective, I wonder what I’ll find in the morning.”

               “As much as I love a good metaphor,” he thought, “the events of this evening are like someone who deliberately smashes each finger with a hammer without giving any thought of the consequences.” Eric lay down in the center of the living room floor, took several deep breathes, and relaxed every inch of his body. “Alright, get moving,” he grumbled.

               Rising to his feet in a perfectly relaxed state, he locked all the doors and windows to take a shower and climb into an empty bed. “A challenge,” he said to himself, “that is exactly what this evening has become. Living with this kind of nonsense is a serious challenge. I wonder what I’ll find in the morning?”

               Pulled from a beautiful slumber, the door bell stirred him moments after his alarm sounded. “Oof, who would be ringing my doorbell at this hour?” he wondered. He quickly pulled himself from bed, threw on some clothes and hurried to the front door to find two police officers looking depressed and apologetic.

               “Hello, sir,” one of them said. “We have some terrible news to share with you. We received a call from an anonymous caller about four hours ago. They reported that they saw someone throw themselves from a bridge into oncoming traffic to be destroyed after striking the pavement. We were able to gather her information and came over at what seemed like a reasonable time.

               Eric could feel the contents of his stomach rise up into his throat, to then lean upon the doorframe and wonder how he would communicate this message to the still sleeping children. “I am so sorry for your loss, sir,” the other officer said. “We’ll need you to come to the hospital at some point today and confirm her identity.”

               “Yes, of course, I can do that later this morning,” he answered. Eric then watched as the two officers returned to their car and drive away. “Okay, Eric, act normal, get the kids ready for school and invent a story that she will not be returning. You can tell them after you visit the hospital. We’ll consider it abandonment and not suicide.” He slipped into the kitchen and started a large pot of oatmeal to fill the children with a meal of nutritional value.

               “Okay, Eric, you need to come up with a believable story, so the kids won’t see through the deception. Oh, I know, I’ll say that she stopped by to say that she would never return and had more important things to do.” The padding of feet sounded on the stairs and he was soon joined by all five children at the dining room table. Breakfast was served, the food was consumed, and the children quickly changed into their school clothes to disappear for the day.

               As he watched the school buses come and go, he collapsed on the couch, knowing that he had an unavoidable journey to the hospital to confirm her identity. After two hours of work from home, he explained his situation to his boss and made the tragic journey across town to the hospital. He inquired at the front desk, explained the situation, and was given directions to the morgue. He approached the door and was invited in as the doctor in charge pulled back the sheet to expose a pale and slightly blue face. “Ugh, yes, that is her,” he said. “This is not how a relationship is supposed to end.”

               “I’ll give you a few minutes, sir,” the doctor said. “I need to go upstairs to a meeting for about an hour. You can speak whatever words you need to say. Let yourself out when you have exhausted your thoughts and ideas.”

               Eric looked down at the cold and lifeless corpse. “This is so stupid, you idiot,” he said. “All of this should not have happened this way. You clearly didn’t think about the final consequences of your actions. Living with you was a challenge but you clearly put an end to all of it. How am I going to explain this to the kids?”

               He returned home, completed his last six hours of work, began preparing dinner and welcomed each child when they entered the home. As they gathered together for dinner, Eric cleared his throat and explained that he had some terrible news to share. The look of despair on their faces tore at his heart. “I don’t know if anyone heard the doorbell this morning, but your mother stopped by and declared that she would never return and had better things to do. So, from now on, it will be you kids and me keeping everything in order. We have no way to communicate or connect with her; she gave no more information other than the fact that she would not return.”