Colin the Large

 

Colin was horribly fat, morbidly obese, life-threateningly flaccid and everyone knew it, including Colin. Despite all the knowledge, the training, the pep talks, and the offers of free salads, Colin simply could not give up a life deep fried, not to mention ice cream, candy bars, and beer. In Colin's opinion, life was to be enjoyed and he thoroughly enjoyed life eating everything tasty.

The situation finally came to a head one day as Colin sat on his front steps eating a box of doughnuts. He had just bit into his fourth when Lanelle, his sister in law, jogged by. Lanelle was in fact, the 48th person to pass Colin, sitting there on his steps eating doughnuts and she was, in fact, the 48th person to acknowledge his presence. But she was also the first person to acknowledge Colin's presence with a negative tone.

"Good God, Colin, you're going to eat yourself into an early grave. How can you sit there like that? It's absolutely repulsive."

"Hi to you too, Lanelle," Colin responded with a smile. "Would you like a doughnut?"

"Ugh," she replied with a shudder. And with that she turned and jogged off.

"Don't let her get to you, Colin," Fred called out, having just stepped off the city bus. "Some people just cannot be happy and mind their own business."

"Hey Fred," Colin answered. "No, I know she means well, but I don't let her bitterness bother me. She's just not a happy person. I mean, really, how could anyone be happy only eating salad and exercising all the time?”

“Wow, man,” Fred responded. “You are way more gracious than I ever could be with someone like that. If it were me, I’d just tell her to bug off.”

“Yeah, I know,” Colin answered. “But really, some people are just unhappy and don’t know how to get out of it. Fortunately, that is not me. If someone is not open to help and growth, there is nothing I can do about it and me getting angry or unhappy won’t help matters. Here, do you want a doughnut?” he said, putting out his hand.

“Thanks, but no,” Marsha and I are going out for dinner as soon as she gets home,” he replied. “Hey, how about you walk down to the park with me? I’ve just almost an hour before she gets home. I’ve been cooped up all day in the office. I’m itching to get some fresh air.”

“Yeah,” Colin replied. “That’d be nice. I hope you don’t mind a slow walk though.”