Acknowledging Weakness

 

            The twelve year old boy slipped into his father’s library to show off the few hairs that had just begun to reveal themselves on his upper lip. His father heard his attempts to silently enter the room to turn around and congratulate him on his first steps into puberty. “I’ve been waiting for this day, son,” he said. “You have begun to take on the size and shape of a man and now it is time for you to begin learning how to defend yourself, both physically and verbally.”

              “Okay, father,” the boy replied.

              “You and I will begin working together at least three days a week,” he said. “We will begin with a rigorous exercise routine which will enable you to take advantage of your size and give you the muscle and balance needed to protect yourself and protect others when those who are less than good try to cause trouble. Most importantly, you will learn how to think logically, rationally articulate yourself, so that you won’t have to resort to physical violence to put an end to the trouble caused by others.”

              “Okay, father,” the boy replied, “when do we start?”

              “We will start today, about two hours before dinner,” he answered. “We’ll start out with this practice three days a week to work you toward a bigger and stronger body, and after several weeks like this, we will add a day, and again after a few months, we’ll add another day.”

              “This will be great,” Anthony answered. “Based on what time it is right now, I’m guessing we’ll be starting within the hour.”

              Four weeks passed, then six more weeks passed, and finally three months passed, and Anthony marveled at how much stronger and more agile he had become in this short period of time. Every day during breakfast, he and his father would have in depth and thoughtful conversations about how to speak clearly, think clearly, and diffuse a potentially bad situation using his words rather than his muscles.

              Their conversations ranged across a wide field of religion and philosophy, including Christianity, Buddhism, philanthropy, and pacifism. Anthony wrote down notes as they spoke, allowing him to create an articulate approach to life, to thought patterns, and to a careful way of interacting with others, who in most cases had given little to no consideration to topics such as these.

               Every Sunday morning, he would weigh himself, take measurements of his chest, biceps, thighs, and calves, marveling at how muscular he had become as the months passed. He began watching bodybuilding videos, long distance and short distance running videos, all of which fed his ego about how much better he was than everyone else. As time continued to pass, he made the mistake of commenting about his thoughts about himself and the sorry state of most other people.

              “Don’t go down that path, Anthony,” his father said. “Yes, you may be bigger, stronger, and more thoughtful than most other people you will meet, but humility is the path you must maintain. There will always be someone bigger, stronger, or smarter than you, remember that and you will be a better person.”

              “Yes, father, I will keep that in mind,” he said. “Honestly, I find it incredibly frustrating that I cannot seem to find anyone with whom to discuss these topics or challenge in hand-to-hand combat. You have taught me well and I long for someone comparable to learn from and with whom to grow.”

              “This is a path that you will find challenging,” he said, “but remember that very few people have the opportunities that you have been given or have the mind that is interested in or willing to engage with this depth of thought. Make humility and willingness to learn your foundation for moving through life. Everyone you meet will have some sort of knowledge or skill that can make you a better person. This is not about you against the world, instead think of your path forward as an opportunity to become a stronger, wiser person.”

              The months turned into years and Anthony transitioned into training five days a week, and articulating his philosophy on most evenings, a glorious combination of hard physical work and mental gymnastics that seemed to be moving him in the wrong direction as he found himself becoming more and more arrogant about his superiority.

              He finished his last year of high school, applied for university and moved to a large town on the other side of the state to study biochemistry and continue his rigorous exercise regimen and philosophical ruminations. After two months on campus, he began making connections with other students and joined a martial arts class that further enhanced his wrestling and grappling skills, making him an even greater opponent.

              After his Wednesday night martial arts class, several other students approached him to invite him to join them on Friday evening at a fraternity on campus. “There will be a lot of girls there,” they promised. “A guy your size, with your skills and good looks, you won’t have any trouble meeting that perfect girl.”

              “Okay, give me the address,” he said, feeling somewhat guilty for attending such an event, knowing that alcohol would certainly be present and overused, a practice in which he had never indulged. Friday evening came around and he began the short walk from his dorm to the fraternity address, to see dozens of young people flooding into the building. Within seconds of stepping inside, he was surrounded by a scores of beautiful young women demanding his attention, his name, and his phone number. Being the kind and polite young man that he was, he gave out his contact info to more girls than he could count.

              He shifted around from room to room, making friends, making contacts, and meeting more people than he could remember. He left the kitchen area and walked into the dining room to find a weaselly young man harassing one of the girls that he had met earlier. He could see that she was cringing at the boy’s approaches upon her, so Anthony stepped into the conversation, placing a massive hand upon his shoulder, warning him that the girl obviously was not interested in him.

              The boy turned to look into Anthony’s chest, attempting to look intimidating and when he realized that Anthony was literally twice his size, he apologized to the girl and left the room.

              “Thank you, Anthony,” she said. “That creep has been following me around for at least an hour. I really needed some help with that one. I’m positive that he won’t bother me any longer, considering how massive and protective you are. Call me soon and hopefully I’ll see you in class next week.”

              Anthony and the girl left the dining room, walked into the living room to enjoy a dance, surrounded by dozens of other couples. They finished their dance and stepped to the side of the room to be confronted by the weaselly young man from earlier with two similar friends, all of whom were trying to be intimidating, which made Anthony chuckle inside, knowing that these three little boys offered him no challenge whatsoever.

              He stepped in between the girl, who stood behind him, and the three scrawny and laughable young men approaching him, trying to be a threat. One of them threw a punch which landed on his chest, which was nothing more than an annoying poke, triggering his body to immediately become tense. When the meager punch brought about no response, the three boys walked away, disappointed with their failure to steal the girl away from him.

              “Wow, that was really cool,” the girl said. “Thanks again for intervening.”

              “Yes, of course,” Anthony said. “Guys like that are nothing more than an annoyance. It’s getting kind of late; can I walk you back to your dorm? I hate the thought of you being alone when you walk back. I can make sure that you get back safe without being hassled again.”

              “That would be wonderful,” she said. “I need to get up early tomorrow and meet my parents for breakfast. Is there any chance that you would like to join us? We’re meeting at the café on the corner of Maple and 4^th street at eight.”

              “I would love to,” Anthony said. “Come on, let’s go and I’ll get you home safe. I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.”

              “Right, of course,” she said, “my name is Avery. I know my parents will love you. Can you meet me at my dorm at 7:45. We can walk to the restaurant together.”

              Anthony and Avery left the fraternity, walked down the sidewalk holding hands and he watched her walk into her dorm. He turned to face the three pathetic young men from earlier, who, once again, tried to be intimidating, which left him somewhat baffled at their incredible lack of common sense or foresight.

              “Ugh, seriously guys?” he said. “I’m only going to say this once. Leave the girl alone, she and I are together. If I learn that you are continuing to bother her, I’ll have to take action to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. I would hope that some verbal direction would steer you away from the possibility of injury from my hands. Take the hint, go find something better to do than bothering a girl who is clearly not interested in you.”

              The three boys turned to walk away.

              “I’d rather use my words than my fists to make my point clear,” he said. “If the girl is there, I’ll be there as well and you three better not be there. Don’t make me turn this into something painful and ugly. Learn to recognize your weakness, see the strengths of others, and do what is right so you don’t end up being the annoying jerks that no one wants to be around.”

              “Phew,” he thought, as he watched the three of them jog away without looking back. “I am so glad that my words handled that situation. The last thing I need is to have three guys pressing charges against me for assault. Alright, Avery is safe and now I can go home. Wow, what a night.”