Uncomfortably Unlike

 

The young boy lay flat on his back in a pile of leaves beneath the canopy of multiple trees providing a respite from the heat of the day. His thoughts were like a swarm of birds that constantly changed its direction and shape, moving from one avenue of thought to the next, always wondering why he was, who he was, and what was the ultimate purpose of his existence. He had an older sister and a younger brother, both of whom were very normal and easily connected with their peers, while he, Lysander, seemed incapable of genuinely connecting with anyone.

He was loved by most and he appreciated the relatively shallow connection he shared with smaller children, with his peers, with his family, and with the elderly in his small community. As he moved from childhood into his teen years and into his early adulthood, he was known as the one to go to when a question needed to be answered. His encyclopedic knowledge, his grasp of common sense, and his ability to find answers in nearly every category of understanding gave him a definite advantage over all others.

Though he knew so much, understood so much, and possessed a skill at tying together seemingly different categories of knowledge, he still longed to deeply connect with someone and have someone with whom to intellectually wrestle. As he watched the few clouds peek through the branches overhead, he could literally think of no one within a reasonable distance that provided any type of worthwhile conversation. He ached to find someone of a like mind, a like heart, and possessing the same passion as he for something more that simple distraction.

Since completing his studies at the age of sixteen, he began working in his father’s fishing company but found the work mind numbing, boring, and lacking any sort of challenge for his ever-racing intellect. After three months of catching fish, selling fish, and struggling to interact with their customers, the idea came to him that he needed to leave their small village and travel as widely as possible in search of someone who could offer him something greater than small talk and smiles.

With a carefully crafted plan in mind, he stayed up later than everyone else in the family, replayed his plan over and over, step by step, waiting for the moon to reach its zenith, knowing that everyone was asleep in his home and everyone in town as well. He crept to the side of the house, reached through his window opening to retrieve his bag to then silently reach the dirt road that led to the next town further north.

He knew the potential danger of walking in the dead of night, certain that many wild animals had already seen and smelled him. He kept his senses on full alert, listening for any activity or rapid approach. The full moon provided enough light for a clear path forward, eventually reaching the next town before the arrival of the morning light. He found an obscure corner of forest that provided darkness and protection, needing to glean a few hours of sleep before the new day began. The sound of laughing and playing children woke him from his sleep and he emerged from his obscurity to organize himself, making himself presentable for hopefully normal social interaction.

He walked to each corner and place of social gathering in the town, introducing himself, looking for someone with whom he could connect but finding no one in the town any different from his own community less than an hour away, so he remained until darkness fell. As the town became silent and inactive, he continued his walk to the next town, even further north, hoping that he would find someone similar to him. He repeated this process over and over, passing through seven different towns and unsurprisingly, he found no one with whom to deeply connect.

In the last town he visited, he overheard rumors of a group of older men who lived in the deep woods, remaining reclusive and relatively silent, not actually connecting with anyone and maintaining an air of mystery about their relationship with the world outside and the nature of the community. He gathered as many details as he could about them and made the goal of searching through the woods to find them and possibly join them, as he suspected this group of men may be very much like himself.

The sense of disappointment was nearly overwhelming as he thought back over multiple small communities he had visited, certain that he would eventually find someone, yet failing to do so. As he wandered the deep woods, looking for this mysterious community of older men, he eventually became disoriented, failing to find them in what seemed like an unending maze of paths, trees, bushes, and shrub.

After searching for three days, he felt his heart continue to shrivel, to ache, and become overwhelmed with despair and loneliness. As darkness settled after the third day, he found a spacious cave to call his home. A stream was nearby with copious fish and a large patch of fertile soil at the edge of a meadow. He eventually gave up all hope and decided to become a recluse like the old men that had been described to him, determined to stay away from anyone and everyone, with an occasional visit to the last small town in order to barter for his basic needs.

He made a habit of keeping track of seasons and years, knowing that he needed to maintain a good handle on the passage of time. As each year passed, he wondered about the fate of his family, his original community, and what would become of his overall wellbeing, as he was immersed in solitude with a million ideas a day on how to make life better, how to be a better person and how to positively impact the society around him.

He could feel himself growing older and less inclined to interact with anyone, feeling sad over the loss of possible interaction and positive influence. After making use of his careful use of documenting the passage of time, around his fiftieth birthday, he returned to his original town to find that both of his parents had passed away, and he now had multiple nephews and nieces. It took several days before he could convince his brother and sister of his identity, both of them convinced that he had died many years before.

His disappearance brought an overwhelming despair and grief upon both of his parents, and search parties were formed in hopes of finding an answer for his sudden absence. Within a few years of his disappearance, stories began to circulate that he had fled to the big cities of Greece to find a likeminded community where he could exercise his mind and brilliance, to eventually become a teacher in one of the schools of philosophy. He internally laughed at this premise, wondering why he had not thought of making such a journey a reality for himself.

Weeks and then months passed, and he once again became part of the community, answering questions, feeling lonely, but at the same time enjoying the simple interaction with his now much larger family. The last thirty years of his life in near solitude changed his heart and mind about the value of family, the value of interaction, and the importance of positively influencing those in one’s community. Having returned to the community he had formerly despised and found disappointing, he could feel his love for his fellow human beings grow, despite their sad lack of self-awareness or understanding.

It was not necessarily a selfishness with which he struggled but it was instead a hope for something more, something deeper, and something of greater value than mere small talk. Over time, he became the wise old man who suddenly appeared out of nowhere, who became an influence upon the next generation, motivating them to not settle for the low bar of ease and simplicity, of mindless distraction, and of shallow and meaningless day to day life. As Lysander grew older, he became filled with joy as more young men and woman began to ask deeper questions, began to demand more from life, and began to find joy in learning, in growth, in maturity, and in adulthood.

Lysander could feel his final years drawing to a close, so he began to document everything that he had learned over his nine decades of life. Filling twenty volumes of memories, he called the town elders together and implored them to call a town meeting that would allow him to communicate his thoughts, his memories, his dreams, and his goals to everyone who was interested. This would become his final town hall that fed those he loved with the knowledge and wisdom he had acquired over his many years of thoughts and questions.

It was on his ninety-seventh birthday that he made his final journey to Mt. Athos to live his final days out among the mysterious old men he had heard about so many years before. Several young men from his community took him by wagon to the docks, to board a small ship and eventually land on the shoreline before the huge collection of monasteries and wise old men. He lived his last month among the old men who were, unsurprisingly, very much like him. He and they were not interested in the shallowness and emptiness of casual, worldly living.

He eventually reposed among these old men and sent his final words to his extended family and community, assuring them that they were now on the right path and encouraging them to send some of their young men to Mt. Athos to imitate the path he finally found during his last days.