Loving Someone Not Like You

 

            Having escaped from a dire situation, over time he came to the realization that life was supposed to be peaceful, quiet, and socially interactive, as a few years passed, he looked over the last couple of decades and began to wonder how everything went so wrong for so long and what the solution to find a peaceful life would look like. It did not take long for him to figure out that the amount of deception that came from those who knew him, interacted with him, and pretended to be friendly was alarmingly large.

               As time continued to crawl past, he focused on being comprehensive in his thoughts, in his actions, and in his internal monolog, knowing that pursuing a life of holiness, honesty, and love for others would certainly lead to a better life for everyone involved. Thankful for the new group of friends, leaders, and neighbors revealed to him the ability to read what people were actually saying and doing communicated what was genuinely going on within them.

               Over time he looked back and learned to recognize the plastic smiles, the disingenuous words of kindness, and the conversations that went on behind his back, all of which communicated to him that what people said and did was often times the opposite of what they actually thought. He performed numberless conversations with himself over many years and began to pay careful attention to what his heart and mind dwelt on, eventually bringing to his mind the reality of the direction of his life.

               Frustrated and angry at the lies that had surrounded him for so long, forced him to change the contents of his heart, what entertained him, and what things he spent his time thinking about. When the final break took place, he spent more time watching how others interacted, how others behaved, and how the single women around him non-verbally communicated. There were many decisions to be made, gestures, actions, and subtle hints that needed to be understood as he continued to move forward in life.

               The idea of remarrying, finding someone else to love, and begin a new chapter made him realize the awkward state of ‘loving someone not like you’ was a reality he needed to come to terms with. The more time he spent with people, the more he realized that people would say one thing, act one way, and mean the exact opposite, which left him frustrated and disappointed with the normalcy of dishonesty.

               As time continued to creep past, he came to the decision that life needed to be simple, honest, and focused on being holy, focused on loving God, and focused on loving one’s neighbor. “You know,” he thought, “instead of focusing on making my life as comfortable as possible, I should direct my energy and attention on being one who contributes something of value to those around me.”

               All that he had learned over the past thirty-five years brought him to a place where he understood that being honest, being genuine, and being one who brings value was the best path to follow, rather than painting a picture of oneself that would make others feel a certain way when there was always changes to be made to one’s path in life. Now that life had re-started, he worked very hard at choosing those with whom he would spend his time, knowing that the input from others would have a direct impact on the quality of his life.

               Like the athlete who puts his time and energy into daily exercise and healthy food, he knew that the comments, thoughts, and input from others from certainly influence his heart, his thoughts, and the direction of his passions. The man who only eat fast food, processed food, and drinks cheap beer will see the influence of these things on his physical physique. Having someone else very close to him would bring about a change in the direction of his life, the direction of his thoughts and desires, and the content of his goals.

               As time continued to pass, he stepped back, reassessed his thoughts, his desires, and his passions, knowing that having a good handle on these things were an important part of following the right path toward that which was good, right, and true. “You know, having a few good friends who will help direct me toward holiness,” he thought, “will be far more valuable that taking on another spouse who will re-direct the quality of my life.”

               “Focus on wisdom, focus on love, and focus on being a good influence upon those around me,” he thought, “I need to work at keeping my thoughts, my heart, and my passions good and pure.” After several years had passed, he made the decision to write out a monthly plan, a yearly plan, a five-year plan, and a decades long plan so that he would be thoughtful and considerate of pursuing that which was good, right, and true. Now with a specific and thoughtful plan in mind and on paper, he committed himself to following this articulate plan.

               “Alrighty then,” he thought, “now I can say, ‘loving someone not like you’ is my new approach to life.” The long-term goals now written down, thoughtfully considered, and aggressively pursued, he made the decision to not worry about finding another spouse, and trusted that God would work out all things for his good and for the good of those connected to him. Disappointed with the last few decades, he finally came to the realization that deception from those around him seemed to be a normal part of life and interaction he received from others.

               As the age of retirement continued to draw closer, he focused his time, money, and energy toward taking care of his responsibilities until he was in a position that he could retire and enjoy the remaining decades of his life. He then created a comparison chart of his earlier life goals with the new goals he just now came to realize and understand were far more important that the childish goals he made in the past. “Visit places, meet people, do good for others, and be a light to those around you,” he said out loud. “There is no going back, there is no value in returning to what was lost, and there is nothing beneficial about trying to hang onto what was lost because of someone else’s dishonesty.”

               As the years continued to flow past, he watched as others made decisions, some good, and some bad. “When someone thinks only of themselves,” he thought, “they will eventually come to realize that each decision will impact the quality of their life, and the eventual end goal after making those decisions.” Feeling somewhat guilty for recognizing and acknowledging the path others chose to follow, knowing that the future they previously imagined would not turn out how they had hoped.

               Like watching a short video of someone making bad decisions, which would eventually lead to a slightly disastrous end and laughing to oneself as they fall victim to their own mistakes. When he came to this realization that watching others make bad decisions, he refocused his attention on his own life, his own decisions, and his plans for the next thirty years, hoping to be good, true, loving, and kind to those around him. “Don’t worry about other people,” he told himself. “Put your time, your money, and your energy toward making the world a better place, and positively impact those in your social circles.”

               Now painfully aware of his former mistakes, he vowed to not return to his previous errors, his previous mis-directed thoughts and passions, and promised himself that he would change everything he was taking into himself, both nutritionally, academically, and for entertainment. “Focus on what is good, true, right, and beautiful,” he said to himself, “what you put in what you will get out. The goal here is to be honest, holy, and a positive influence, not wealthy, not comfortable, but focused on an eternity in the presence of God.”