Angela was eleven years old and the
third child in a family of self-centered narcissists who only were concerned
with their own happiness, their own satisfaction, and their own pleasure,
willing to be distracted by anything they found fun or amusing. Her father
worked sixteen hour days and her mother was drunk most of the time that her husband
was away at work, still having the responsibility of taking care of, loving,
and protecting her three children.
Angela
almost never saw her father as he was gone when she rose for school each
weekday and he would return home from work several hours after she had gone to
bed. The little girl slept on a pile of blankets in the corner of her parent’s
bedroom, while her two brothers had their own bedroom one door down.
Occasionally Angela would wake up in the middle of the night when her father
returned home from work, she would crack open one eye and watch him climb into
bed and begin snoring.
The
little girl would sleep peacefully and eventually crawl from her pile of
blankets, use the bathroom to get ready for school, find a clean set of
clothes, and scour through the kitchen for a small morning meal before leaving
for school. As she passed through the front door to walk to the end of the driveway,
her mother would give her two dollars to purchase lunch at school. She would
drift through her school day, enjoying her time with her friends, sharing
stories about dreams they hoped to accomplish as they grew into adulthood.
The
end of the school year drew near and she walked into their home to find that
her mother sat crying at the dining room table, within a few minutes her two brothers
entered their home and the four of the sat together as her mother informed the
three children that their father would not be returning and made the decision
to start a new life with other people.
“I’m
so sorry, kiddos,” she said, “I will need to find work during the day while you
are at school and I will keep you informed about what will be happening with
our little family. I will do the best I can to keep you safe, keep you well
fed, and provide for all of your needs.”
The
last day of school arrived, Angela returned home and had another short meeting
with her mother and brothers, at which time she learned that her mother had not
been able to find a day job and she told them that she would put in more effort
to find a night job that would provide enough income to keep their family in a good,
healthy, and safe place.
Angela
then stood up from the dining room table, escaped to her parent’s bedroom,
flopped herself down on her pile of blankets, and began to feel sick at the
idea that what had once been a relatively stable family was now falling apart
with an uncertain future. The little girl had a vague and fuzzy memory of her
mother’s parents and felt sad at the idea that they lived so far away from them
at this time.
Mother,
Angela and her two brothers sat down and ate dinner together, giving their
mother the opportunity to explain that she would be leaving the home within a
few hours to search for work. The meal was complete, the three children worked together
to clean the dining room, the kitchen, and they sat in the living room and
watched as their mother left their home. As she slipped out the front door,
they moved to the front window and watched her drive away.
Within
less than an hour, a different car pulled into their driveway and two middle
aged women emerged from the car, walked to the front door and asked to speak
with their father or mother. The oldest boy explained their current and sad
situation to the middle-aged women. The five of them sat down in the living
room, one of made a quick phone call and two other cars arrived with several
other people.
Angela
sat with the two middle aged women and watched as her two brothers gathered some
of their things, left the home, and drove away in one of the other cars. The
two middle-aged women told Angela to gather her things and to come with them so
they could find her a safe place to live. As they drove away from her home, she
told them that she had grandparents that would be more than happy to take care
of her. She then provided their name, the name of the city, and hoped that they
would be able to locate them and make contact.
Angela’s
mother returned home at two in the morning after standing on a street corner,
selling herself as a prostitute with the hope that she could earn enough money
to provide for her children. She walked into a dark and cold house to find no
children and only a note from the Department of Child Services, informing her
that the children had been taken into custody because they were far too young
to be left home alone with no parental supervision. After taking a quick
shower, she put on her pajamas, crawled into bed and waking the next morning,
she placed a phone call to the Department of Child Services to inform them that
she would be coming into the office before noon to confirm that her children
were safe.
After
the phone call, she ate a quick breakfast, dressed appropriately for the day,
drove to the DCS office and found that her two sons had been delivered to
foster homes and that Angela was being delivered to her grandparent’s home. She
apologized for her sad situation, explained that her husband had abandoned them
and that she was actively looking for work to provide for her children. Because
of the situation in which she found herself, they informed her that they could
not provide her with the address of the foster homes in which her sons had been
placed.
Feeling
sick and defeated, she returned to a dark and cold home, sadly walking through
each room, feeling empty and overcome with despair, she placed a phone call to
her parents to learn more details about what was happening. She told them that
she would start driving immediately to explain her sad situation. She thanked
them for being understanding and willing to take care of Angela and that she would
be leaving immediately and would see them soon.
She
made the six hour drive, pulled into their driveway, hugged her small daughter,
greeted her parents, and apologized for the terrible situation in which they
found themselves. She hugged both of her parents, hugged Angela a second time,
and promised to remain in contact as the years crept by. She escaped out the
front door, climbed into her car, and made the six-hour drive back home to walk
into a dark and cold house.
Thinking
about the poor decisions that she had been making over the last several months,
she knew that she no longer needed a large income now that she was alone. She
began searching for an easy retail job that would put her in a place where she would
earn enough to buy food for herself, pay her rent, and have enough money for gasoline,
electricity, the phone bill, and insurance.
After
scraping by for two months with a very small income, she made the decision to
go into the adult film industry, which would pay a great deal more money and would
only require the occasional few hours a week for filming. She made contact with
an adult film company, signed a few papers, turned in her notice to her current
retail job, notifying that she would no longer be working for them after two
weeks.
She
began receiving emails from the adult film company with dates, times, and addresses
for her filming schedule. After transitioning into the filming industry, she
began to feel sick at what she was doing so frequently with complete strangers.
She found herself leaning into the use of substances to burying her feelings of
despair and disappointment. She would occasionally place a phone call to her
parents and speak with Angela for a few minutes every other weekend.
Seven
years crept past and she learned that Angela had graduated from high school
with excellent grades and would be attending university to pursue a career as a
chemist. She continued her work in the adult film industry, continued placing
phone calls and learned that Angela was not available to speak as she was now
at university. She left her number with her parents, asking them to have Angela
call her when she had a few minutes to talk about their situation.
Angela
completed her university schooling, earned her bachelor degree, her Master’s
degree and received an offer from a large chemical corporation for a high
paying job. She immediately accepted the offer, informed her grandparents of
the offer, moved to the city in which the company resided, rented an apartment
and began working within two weeks of moving into her new apartment.
She
was incredibly shocked at the size of her paycheck every two weeks, and made
the decision to pay off her grandparent’s mortgage because of their kindness to
her and their willingness to provide for and protect her when her mother drastically
failed as a parent. She received notification from her grandparents that her
mother wanted her to call her as frequently as possible, upon hearing this she
made the decision to never contact her mother again.
She
put great effort into making her life safe, comfortable, and finding new
healthy, solid friends at her place of employment. She eventually purchased her
own home, paid off her grandparent’s mortgage, contacted her brothers and told
them about her success in life. She learned that her brothers had begun making
very bad life choices. Disappointed that they were following a similar path
that her father and mother had chosen to follow, she knew that giving them any
kind of financial support would not end well.
After
working at her new job, she met a wonderful young man named Alexander, whom she
began to date and spend a great deal of time with. After two years of their
interaction, he proposed to her and she accepted his proposal. The wedding was
a small event with close friends, the groom’s family, her grandparents and her
two brothers in attendance. Angela learned that her father was in prison and
that her mother had passed away two years prior from a drug overdose.
Angela
and Alexander took a three-week honeymoon to Paris, sold the smaller of their
two homes, and consolidated their belongings. Both feeling immensely pleased
with their bright new future. Both Angela and Alexander continued working at
their place of employment, giving Angela several days to consider how they should
approach their new life. She wondered if they should begin having children and
what they would mean for their careers.
Eventually
they came to the decision that having children was probably not a good idea as
the children would need to have a solid, loving, and safe environment. Angela
knew that she had no idea how she could make that happen, as her childhood was
completely unstable, dysfunctional and void of love. As several years passed,
they continued to build up a large savings, making life solid and stable for a
beautiful future in the event if they chose to eventually have children one
day.