Choosing Life

 

            Little Sarah stood at the edge of the playground watching the other children interact and wishing that she had someone to care for her, to provide for her, and to love her like these other children who had two parents. Fighting back the tears that seemed to always overtake her when she watched the other children, she dropped into a sitting position on one of the logs that surrounded the play area.

               The laughter, the joy, and the delight she could see in the faces of the other children made her wonder what a life like theirs would be like to experience. She watched as the children departed one at a time with their parents until she sat alone in the dark playground, wishing for someone to love and to love her back. The darkness eventually grew so deep that she wandered off toward the inner city to find the alley in which she and her mother lived.

               Crawling under a pile of cardboard boxes, she ached with hunger and loneliness, wondering exactly where her mother was but at the same time, knowing that she was with a stranger who paid money for her attention. She could hear the shuffling of feet not too far from her obscure location, fearful to look out and see who or what was approaching.

               “If I look out and they see me,” she thought, “they’ll most likely hurt me like they hurt Mommy.” Sarah remained motionless, kept her breathing shallow, and waited until there was only silence. The warm of the next morning began to creep upon her and she carefully peeked out from beneath the cardboard to see her mother’s legs sticking out from beneath another pile of cardboard.

               “Oh good, there’s Mommy,” she thought. “I should go wake her and see if we can buy some food.” Carefully scanning around the alley, she saw no one else, no activity, and continued to ache from hunger, until she found the bravery to leave her protected space to approach her mother.

               She rose to her feet, stretched, and relished the gentle touch of the morning sun. “Oh, that is so much better,” she thought. “I’ve been so cold for so long, I hope Mommy is awake and won’t be angry with me for bothering her.” She carefully slid the cardboard from where she believed her mother’s face would be. As her face was exposed, her eyes were wide and her mouth was smiling.

               “Oh, thank goodness, there you are Sarah,” she said. “Come, let’s go to the grocery store and buy some breakfast. I’m sure you are as hungry or even hungrier than I am.” Pulling herself to her feet, she took Sarah by the hand and Mother and daughter left the alley to walk several blocks and enter the grocery store. “How does pastry sound for breakfast along with some juice and some fruit?” she asked.

               “That would be very good, Mommy,” Sarah answered. The desired items were obtained and then paid for at the checkout. Sarah could feel herself trembling inside at the delight of eating fresh, healthy food, and overjoyed to know that her mother was not angry with her and safe after whatever she had done that night before. Sarah took her mother by the hand; they walked two blocks to a nearby park and sat at the bench beneath a large maple tree.

               The two ate in silence and Sarah remembered her thoughts and fears from the day before as she watched the other children play in the park. “Why don’t I have any friends, Mommy?” she asked. “I see other children playing in the park and they have many other children to play with and be with. I feel like I hardly ever see you. Thank you for buying me breakfast. I’ve been very hungry for a long time.”

               “Yes, of course, my dear,” she answered. “When we have finished our breakfast, we should walk to the nearest public restroom and clean up. Maybe after that we can go to the waterfront and watch the boats and the birds. It is important to look at beautiful things whenever we have the chance.”

               “That sounds wonderful, Mommy,” she said. “Can we spend the rest of the day together? Will you be gone all night again or can we be together this evening?”

               “Yes, we can spend the day together,” she said. “I’m sorry, I will be busy tonight. I need to work so that we have money to buy food. I’m sorry that we don’t have a home to live in or a safe place to live. If I continue working as much as I can, maybe one day we will have our own home.”

               Her mother adjusted her backpack, took Sarah by the hand, and the two of them left the park on a short journey to the public restroom. “Here, honey,” she said. “We both need to wash our hair, wash our faces and our hands. I bought some wipes that will help us look presentable and blend into society like everyone else.”

               After cleaning themselves up, they walked to the waterfront and, as her Mommy had suggested, they watched the boats and the birds. “Okay, honey, we should go buy another meal because I need to go back to work in a few hours. After we eat, I will bring you back to your place in the alley and make sure that you’re safe.”

               They entered the alley, avoiding any interaction with the few people that were already there. “Stay hidden beneath the cardboard until I come back later,” she said. “Don’t let anyone see you, or someone may hurt you or take you away. That would be terrible.” Sarah slid under her pile of cardboard but first hugged her Mommy before she fell asleep.

               The next seven years became a blur in Sarah’s mind as she watched her mother continue to grow old and feeble. “I’m getting old, Sarah,” her mother said. “You have grown up to be a lovely young lady. I hate to say this but you will need to start working like I’ve been working. You should have no trouble earning plenty of money to help support us.”

               At seventeen years old, Sarah traveled with her mother to a street corner that was filled with many other young women, all working the same trade as her mother. She cringed at the idea of being with complete strangers and allowing them to use her simply to earn money. The evening began to grow dark and Sarah watched her mother climb into the car of a middle-aged man. “Oh, this is so bad,” she thought. “I really don’t want to be doing this. Do I have any other choice?”

               She wandered around the street corner, interacted with the other girls, made friendly conversation and watched as one girl after another disappeared into the cars of middle-aged men. Still feeling sick and objectified, she slid into the shadows of a nearby alley until a police car arrived. “Oh, perfect,” she thought. “I know they can help me.”

               She hurried from the alley, waved at the police car and begged the officers to rescue her from her horrible plight. “Officers, please help me,” she said. “I’m only seventeen years old and my mother is forcing me to do this work. Can you take me somewhere safe?”

               “Yes, of course,” one of them said. “Here, I’ll open the back door and we’ll take you somewhere safe. Technically, you are a child and should not be out here doing this.” A wave of relief passed through Sarah’s trembling body as she slid into the back seat of the police car.

               “Thank you so much,” she said. “This just feels so wrong. I hate the idea of giving myself to strange, middle-aged men who only care about themselves.” The car slowly pulled away and after parking, Sarah walked with the two police officers into the nearest police station, where she sat in a small room with a female police officer to tell the story of her life, while she took notes.

               “You don’t need to worry any longer, young lady,” she said. “When we are done talking here, CPS will send someone over to help you find somewhere safe and clean to live. Everything is going to be alright. There are many good, kind people who take care of those who are in need. You’ll be staying with one of these families. We’ll stay in touch as we finish your paperwork.”

               “Oh, good, thank you so much,” Sarah said. “I have never slept in an actual bed before or taken a shower in a regular home bathroom. I have always dreamed about being with kind and good people. My mother means well but this is all she knows.”

               “Here, come with me,” the female officer said. “You can wait in a different room until CPS arrives and they will take you to your new home. It should be less than an hour. I am so glad that you approached the two police officers and asked for help. Your life will be so much better and safe now.”

               Sarah sat and waited for less than an hour until she was introduced to the CPS worker, who drove her across town to a beautiful home with a middle-aged couple who warmly welcomed her into their home.

               “Come with me, Sarah,” the woman said. “I’ll show you your room and your bathroom. We will be having dinner in about thirty minutes. That should give you enough time to shower and change into comfortable clothes. Come downstairs when you are finished. We are so happy that you are here.”