Couldn't Keep

 

            They stood together at the edge of the wooded property with a small, flowing stream, with dreams of ownership, dreams of building a large, beautiful home that would one day be filled with children, who would eventually become adults, marry, and build homes of their own on this vast piece of property, essentially creating a massive homestead that would be a place of safety for extended family.

               Many prior years of hard work, saving as much money as possible, and carefully crafting plans to bring about their dreams and desires finally became a reality. Commitment, faithfulness, diligence, and focus on building their new life one step at a time, created a time frame that allowed them to steadily make progress, instill a good work ethic and see the fruit of their work become their new reality.

               The original home started out small to grow in steps, adding space as space was needed, with each coming child more rooms were added, gardens were planted, an orchard was begun, firewood was cut, and a hobby farm of sorts was begun, creating a place to grow, to learn, to improve, and to become better people. Between working a full-time job, caring for the farm, raising children, and increasing the size of the home as more room was needed, they eventually stood together as a family to look out across the vast and seemingly limitless forest that surrounded them.

               Like a dream and vision that had no end, his plans, his hopes, and his aspirations also had no limit. Arriving home each day after a full day of work, he was always pleased to see that the house was clean, organized, and peaceful. As he drove up the two-mile gravel driveway to pull up in front of the house, he could see his two oldest sons splitting and stacking firewood. His oldest daughter was hidden somewhere among the bee hives on the southern part of the property, gathering the honeycomb to extract the honey from the wax that was to be used for making candles, two other sources of income for the home.

               The years slowly ticked by, to bring the addition of more children, and with them the need for more space, more food, and the glory of safe space in the forests around them. Three or four days a week, he would return home to find that the older children were keeping the house running, keeping it clean and orderly, as their mother was often gone off doing who knows what. “This just doesn’t seem right,” he would say to himself as he walked into the home.

               Hugging each child as he entered the home, he prepared dinner, thanked them all for their hard work and diligence in maintaining a comfortable and peaceful home. As darkness began to settle, he called everyone in from all corners of the home, the forest, and the furthest reaches of what they called their homestead to join him at the table for an almost comprehensive family dinner.

               The evening meal was finished and the oldest three children stepped up to put away the leftover food, clean the kitchen, wash the dishes, and shuffle off the smaller children to simple and helpful duties around the house. He hugged each child again as the meal was complete, to then slip away to the cool breeze and darkness of the open front porch, relishing the peace and silence.

               He repeatedly checked his watch as the evening grew darker and colder until ten o’clock rolled around, prompting him to take a shower and slip into an empty bed. He knew what the next several hours would bring or not bring, finally falling asleep he woke, once again to an empty bed to find something to eat for breakfast while all the children remained asleep. “Lunch, I need to put together something for lunch,” he muttered to himself. “This is crazy, our evenings as a family should not be this way.”

               He woke the oldest three, communicated his love for them, urged them to rise from bed, step up and help around the house, to ensure that the smaller children would be taken care of, would eat well, and would continue to learn to be helpful in so many daily chores. “If your mother does not show up soon, I’ll need you all to work through the school work with the little ones,” he said. “I’ll call during my lunch break and make sure that you all are doing well.”

               Muttering under his breath as he drove to work, hating the idea of leaving the children unattended. “They are too little to left with this much responsibility,” he said to himself. “Maybe I’ll call a friend, a neighbor or another family member to check on them at some point today.”

               The first half of his day crept by and as he ate his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he dialed the home phone number to receive no response. “Wow, that’s not good,” he said. “I guess I should try again in about an hour. This is truly disturbing.” His lunch break ended, he kept one eye on the clock and when another hour had passed, he once again placed another phone call to again receive no response.

               Thirty minutes before the end of the day, his cellphone rang, with a call from his sister-in-law, with alarming news that no one was at his home when she drove there to check on the children. “Okay, thanks for the call,” he said. “I’m going to leave early and see if I can figure out what is going on out there. I’ll call you if I figure anything out.”

               He called a brief meeting with his boss, explained the situation and the need to leave early that day. “I’ll come in early tomorrow to make up for today, or I’ll stay late tomorrow to make up for today, whichever you prefer,” he said. Rolling his neck to try to dissipate the tension that had been building since lunch, he took several deep breaths and drove home to find that the entire family was absent, the house was dark with a good deal of their personal belongings missing as well.

               “Brr, it is so cold in here,” he grumbled. “I need to start a fire and burn off this chill. Let’s see if I can find a note, an explanation or something to make sense of this aching emptiness.” He gathered some firewood, crumpled some newspaper, split some kindling, and soon had a roaring fire in the fireplace, slowly increasing the temperature level in the home. “Okay, look through each room and each flat surface in hope of finding a note that gives me something to work with to understand what is happening.”

               Every room was searched; every flat surface was reviewed to produce nothing of any sort of explanation for his solitude. He found himself looking at his watch every ten minutes until darkness slowly swallowed his empty home, leaving him feeling empty and sad and hungry all at the same time. “Guess I should find something to eat,” he said. “Looks like I’ll be spending the evening alone. Man, this is frustrating and confusing, what to do, what to do?”

               He filled his belly with whatever he could find in the refrigerator to then take a shower, and slip into bed early, knowing that another full day of work lay ahead of him. He crawled out of bed earlier than normal, walked from room to room, to once again find that he was still alone, the house had gone cold as the fire had burned itself out while he slept. “Oof, off to work I guess,” he grumbled. “I need some breakfast first and I’ll see what the day brings.”

               Lunch time came around; he placed a call to the home phone to once again receive no answer. He took a thirty-minute lunch to make up for his early departure the day before to then leave at his normal time, followed by a thirty-minute drive home and a slow tortuous drive up the gravel driveway. Darkness had not yet begun to fall and he approached the charred remains of their once beautiful home, sick at the thought that all his hard work, his years of thoughts, saving, and planning was now gone, leaving only an aching emptiness inside of him.

               “Nothing is here, everything is gone, now what do I do,” he wondered. Now with nothing but clothes on his back, his shoes, his car, and his cellphone, he drove into the nearest town to find a cheap motel room. “I need to run by the grocery store, pick up a few things, and settle into the motel which will provide a place to sleep, a shower, and hopefully a decent continental breakfast following my rising from sleep the next morning.”

               Jarred from his restless sleep, he woke up confused, wishing that his memories from the previous day were all part of a horrible dream. As he woke up in a bed and room he did not recognize, he knew that his reality had just radically changed into a wretched new existence, a new world that left him alone, confused, and with very little to call his own.

“Phew, time to think about a new approach to life, a new way to interact, and how to move forward,” he grumbled. “I need to figure out how to find answers for all that has happened in the last few days.”